webb, following some great advice...
i've posted a few feelers out there...
, and offered up some gas $$
and spending lots of time at the feet of Jesus..
also planning a trip to visit the family, but "operational commitment" says not yet, wait a a month or so.... but it's in the works..
Robb, yeah man, getting out, i did my 5 years, made E-5 in three, busted my hump and earned my keep.. now it's time for me to end my professional relationship with the Enlisted side of the Navy.. looking to finish an Aerospace Engineering Degree from The University of Maryland, and maybe get back in with NAVAIR... currently have some connections there, and, God willing i'll be working at NAS Pax.
Pierre, replied brother. thanks so much
Don, and
Philip, agreed, med's are over prescribed, and not what I need.
To everyone, just feeling like I'm able to "talk" about it here in this thread is huge for me... The loss isn't as painful as the feeling of losing what I had given so much to. As dumb as it may seem, this is not the loss of life, it's the loss of my soul mate, my best friend, my fiance..(just a break up). I had let go of so much after I moved to Jax because it was easier to call her, and love her, than it was to reach out and make new friends.... so she slowly became everything, and i began to seek my strength and identity in Jenna.. I had slowly let her take priority over Christ in my life, and that's where it went south..... and that's why it's so hard... Jenna had become my strength.. and I lost sight of me... first I lost the guy I used to be... and subsequently, I lost her.
The strange thing is she's not gone for good, she's in Maryland.. waiting for me to find myself again.. will we be together when I get home? honestly I'm not concerned with that. I'm concerned with finding my identity and strength in Jesus, because that's where I find true Joy and life.. and that's where I find healing.. not in some anti-depressant pills. feeling so much better just being able to share that with "someone"
** I know i mentioned some spiritual type stuff, please don't delete this.. i'm just letting my heart speak **