Brown eyes
Maybe I shouldn't post this. It wasn't funny at the time. But here goes.
A number of years ago as PIC in a B-727after landing at our destination we were looking forward to our sixteen hour lay over. Our favorite dinner place was a well known Mexican restaurant that we normally frequented. Our crew had flown together on numerous occasions so we were well acquainted. The nachos and margaritas were especially tasty that night, especially the little green chilies.
The following day we were scheduled for a non stop flight back to our home base in Seattle. It was a full flight and we had encountered numerous areas of turbulence necessitating frequent use of the seat belt sign. I began to feel uneasy about 20 minutes from top of descent and headed for the forward lavatory. To my dismay there was a line of about five passengers ahead of me. The line at the aft lavatory was even longer. 10 minutes later I checked again to no avail. Thinking that I could hold it the remainder of the flight I returned to the flight deck and we initiated the descent checks list.
SEA was IFR with runway 16 in use and the daisy chain of aircraft arrivals was about 30 minutes long stretching well south of Tacoma. The feeling of urgency was building as was my anxiety. ATC began slowing traffic ahead of us necessitating initiating flap extension to comply with the speed restrictions. Urgency was growing and I was kicking myself for not butting in line for the lavatory. Finally we received our approach clearance for the ILS and I thought I?d make it. ATC had slowed us once more to 150 knots advising of the traffic ahead of us was a Cherokee also on the ILS. I couldn?t believe it! No?not now I thought. With gear and flaps out and 130 knots we were tight. The Cherokee was having troubles, drifting off of the localizer and the controller was doing his best to salvage the Cherokees approach. My gut feeling amounted to more than those pesky little chilies churning in my intestines, I knew what was going to happen and it did.
XXXXXX 94 Go Around. I about crapped my pants right there and then.
With sphincter valve closed and quivering, we initiated the go around and were vectored back to the daisy chain. I?m thinking maybe I can make it to the lavatory but that was just wishful thinking. More vectors and back to the ILS and final approach. By then I was beyond help, knew I was going to lose it. But the Gods were smiling and we broke out at about 400 feet, completed the landing and I was first out the door headed for operations and the john. Funny thing?.I had held it for so long??I couldn?t go. Finally after about 20 minutes, Mr. sphincter relaxed and the dam opened. It felt sooo good!