How we currently teach it in USAF Pilot Training
One thing that has always bugged me is when students are taught to IMMEDIATELY release the controls. I used to get some who would hear "I have the controls" and it was like when the road runner would shoot away and all you saw was a poof. Their hands are then off the controls and they are so scared that they end up yelling the response. In my case these students were Navy/Coast Guard but exclusively Air Force trained in the T-6 for primary. Not knocking the Air Force, but I totally disagree with this, if you let them get into such extremis that they need to "eject" their hands and feet from the controls, you probably let it go too far as an instructor.
My brief explains that the 1st "I/you have controls" is to inform the non flying pilot to come into the controls, and ride along"
2nd "you/I have controls" is to confirm that the non flying pilot is now ready for the execution order, which is the 3rd reply, confirming the actual change of control responsibility. We use the same type of interaction for formation lead changes.
I may be qualified to comment on this... The following is direct from AFMAN11-248 19 JANUARY 2011, T-6 PRIMARY FLYING
1.15.
Transfer of Aircraft and Systems Control. Only one pilot at a time can fly the aircraft. It is vital for flight safety to clearly establish who is the PF and who is the PNF as fatal accidents have occurred when two pilots attempted to fly the aircraft simultaneously. The PF is responsible for checklist completion and systems operation; however, the PF may task the PNF to operate systems. Because of the importance of proper transfer of aircraft control, the following rules apply:
1.15.1. Transfer of aircraft control:
1.15.1.1. The PF relinquishing control says, ?You have the aircraft.?
1.15.1.2. The PNF assumes control and says, ?I have the aircraft,? and noticeably shakes the control stick.
1.15.1.3. The order may be reversed as the AC always retains the authority to take aircraft control when required. The order of transfer is less important than each crewmember executing his or her role according to the procedures listed.
1.15.1.4. If the AC, as the PNF, says "I have the aircraft" and noticeably shakes the control stick, the PF must immediately relinquish control of the aircraft, and say, "You have the aircraft." This is an example of how the order is reversed, but the roles continue to be executed.
1.15.1.5. Using the exact words is critical to establish proper habit patterns that enhance swift, unambiguous transfer of aircraft control. Do not use other words such as "it" or "jet" in lieu of the term "aircraft" as they can be misunderstood, misheard, and create confusion.
1.15.2. In the event of intercom failure, the PF signals the desire to relinquish aircraft control by smoothly pushing the rudder pedals in a back-and-forth motion, and the PNF assumes control by vigorously shaking the control stick . The pilot relinquishing control raises both hands in the air for the other pilot to see either directly from the RCP or using mirrors from the FCP.
1.15.3. Never relinquish control of the aircraft until the other pilot has positively assumed control of the aircraft (shaken the control stick).
1.15.4. Do not hesitate to relinquish control when directed by the AC.
1.15.5. Immediately query the other crewmember in case of confusion.
1.15.6. The tandem seating setup of T-6 systems can be confusing if not managed properly. It is crucial to coordinate systems use to avoid inadvertent inputs. Systems that require crew coordination include canopy, radio management unit (RMU), global positioning system (GPS), and electronic flight instrument system (EFIS) configuration. The PF controls all of the systems of the aircraft unless a transfer of that system has been clearly communicated between the crewmembers. The PNF should also communicate when transferring control of the system back to the PF.