N355DW
Well Known Member
One year ago this month I held my father's hand as he took final breath.
I volunteer at a local hospice now, and it is probably the most rewarding work I have ever done in my life. I work mostly as an 11th hour volunteer, but I wanted to share a story of something I realized the other day while working the front desk at the Hospice House.
I have only been a member at VAF for a few months, but I always read all of the posts here from those of you that have lost someone important to you. Perhaps it is my experience around families during this time, or the pain I have felt from all the the family and friends I have personally lost, but I feel as if I can read the pain and sadness from many of you in how you post your loss.
Death has absolutely no respect for families, or schedules, or just our sense of "the way things ought to be" whatsoever. Death comes when it pleases, and leaves families and friends in disarray, grieving and lost. I see their faces, and some look like hurricane victims to me, dazed and helpless.
The other day I was working the front desk, and for no reason I know a couple came up to me with that dazed look on their faces, and said "Well, our friend just passed, so I guess we won't be coming back anymore."
I offered them my condolences on their loss and wished them well, and as they walked out the door and down the long walkway to the parking lot, I noticed they grew closer together, and then put their arms around each other, holding on and hugging one another as they left my view.
I realized at that moment, that's really all we can do when Death visits us. We cannot petition the court or file an appeal, there are no "do-overs. Words are left unsaid, tasks are left undone. But we can do one thing - we can hold on to each other. We can be there for each other. Another thought came to me - that is why we are here, the actual Meaning of Life, if you will. It's so simple and so obvious. Sure, we have to eat to live, so we work, and fall in love, and sometimes marry and raise children, and maybe even build an airplane - but with all of that, the most vital thing we can ever do as human beings is - just be there for each other.
As an added thought, I will say that no one will ever be able to convince me that the love a man or woman feels for their spouse, or parent or child, and the grief they feel upon their loss, are just the products of electrochemical processes of a meat machine. I am absolutely certain there is far more to this life than what we can see or touch.
So to all of you who have lost someone you love dearly, and to those of you who will in the future (for the great irony is that, the longer you live, the more you will suffer loss), I wish you to know that a total stranger reads your words, and though I may not be near you, or know you, you are in my thoughts for a while, and you have all the compassion I have to give.
Be well and God bless you.
I volunteer at a local hospice now, and it is probably the most rewarding work I have ever done in my life. I work mostly as an 11th hour volunteer, but I wanted to share a story of something I realized the other day while working the front desk at the Hospice House.
I have only been a member at VAF for a few months, but I always read all of the posts here from those of you that have lost someone important to you. Perhaps it is my experience around families during this time, or the pain I have felt from all the the family and friends I have personally lost, but I feel as if I can read the pain and sadness from many of you in how you post your loss.
Death has absolutely no respect for families, or schedules, or just our sense of "the way things ought to be" whatsoever. Death comes when it pleases, and leaves families and friends in disarray, grieving and lost. I see their faces, and some look like hurricane victims to me, dazed and helpless.
The other day I was working the front desk, and for no reason I know a couple came up to me with that dazed look on their faces, and said "Well, our friend just passed, so I guess we won't be coming back anymore."
I offered them my condolences on their loss and wished them well, and as they walked out the door and down the long walkway to the parking lot, I noticed they grew closer together, and then put their arms around each other, holding on and hugging one another as they left my view.
I realized at that moment, that's really all we can do when Death visits us. We cannot petition the court or file an appeal, there are no "do-overs. Words are left unsaid, tasks are left undone. But we can do one thing - we can hold on to each other. We can be there for each other. Another thought came to me - that is why we are here, the actual Meaning of Life, if you will. It's so simple and so obvious. Sure, we have to eat to live, so we work, and fall in love, and sometimes marry and raise children, and maybe even build an airplane - but with all of that, the most vital thing we can ever do as human beings is - just be there for each other.
As an added thought, I will say that no one will ever be able to convince me that the love a man or woman feels for their spouse, or parent or child, and the grief they feel upon their loss, are just the products of electrochemical processes of a meat machine. I am absolutely certain there is far more to this life than what we can see or touch.
So to all of you who have lost someone you love dearly, and to those of you who will in the future (for the great irony is that, the longer you live, the more you will suffer loss), I wish you to know that a total stranger reads your words, and though I may not be near you, or know you, you are in my thoughts for a while, and you have all the compassion I have to give.
Be well and God bless you.
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