Don't give up.
I'm enjoying reading this thread, as I learned to fly in Hawaii. I took my flight training from a now defunct school, located at Honolulu International. Most of my training flight touch and go's were out at Kalaeloa, and I still remember the crosswinds at Dillingham. It's important to note also that the runway at Dillingham looks awful narrow and short, compared to big ones at PHNL, especially when you're looking at it out your side window! I really enjoyed flying CC's to the neighboring islands, and giving rides around their coastlines. My wife and I were married on Sunset Beach (North Shore), and it was really cool to fly over that spot with her. Now that I live in Coolorado, I miss the sea level performance and of course the views are different, although equally beautiful.
My advice, is not to give up on flying in Hawaii. There are a few RV'rs there, but they are wary of "vacation renters." Even the schools charge for pretty long checkout rides for tourists. It makes sense though, since most people from the mainland aren't used to the Hawaiian procedures, airports or weather. The best way to fly in Hawaii would be to go there for a while, get a checkout with a school, fly as much as possible in a rental and meet people at the airports. Perhaps, you'll run into an RV'r doing that...