Surprise painting
When I was a fraternity pledge at Cal State Long Beach, my pledge brothers and I thought we were pretty cool. Our "pledgemaster", Chris, had a work-in-progress 63 beetle that suffered from a complex old paint/primer grid layout.
One night, hopped up more on caffeine than alcohol (it was a Christian fraternity), some of us went to Denny's to conspire. The next morning, not only were all the doors at the "house" painted with our names, logo and motto. So were the toilet seats, all the local sorority sidewalks, and of course, Chris's car.
I still feel bad about that, but it was 15 years ago. During the first year after our departure from sanity, Chris' car became somewhat a celebrity around campus. It even became an alibi once when he was held with many for suspicion of something or other. Of course, he didn't do it, he was not that kind of guy and his car was seen by many on the other side of town.
I might add that the severity of our crime was tempered by two things. Laughter, of course, and the minimal dollar value of the damage. In Dan's case, might i suggest calling a reality tv show and having them do a version of "pimp my ride" or something. Do a bang up job.
If someone wants to start a sharpie fund to get it painted, I'm in. Just don't go destroy someone else's dream for a joke. Trust me, "Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life, son!"
Besides, Dan is not paying a weight penalty for the paint.