A complex subject
As other posts have suggested this is a complex subject, and the simple story breaks down under a little questioning. The best way to understand what is going on is to read an air data and structural dynamics text book.
To try to do it justice in a few lines, flutter is a complex phenomenon and usually instantly catastrophic, control surface flutter (or "buzz") is different and sometimes survivable. Flutter is caused by the wing structure twisting under load, rapidly reversing due to the torsional stiffness of a typical wing (stiffer at the front than the back), reversing again and so on until the structure fails - it usually happens very quickly. The only hope of survival is if you are slowing down when it starts (usually not the case, and might not help). Control surface buzz is often caused by control rods/cables bending and allow the control surface to vibrate; well balanced surfaces are more resistant. Flutter & buzz are more likely as speed increases.
As noted before usually all relevant speeds are IAS (well actually CAS/EAS, but CAS/EAS gauges are expensive and usually IAS will do, especially at the speeds we fly at and at the altitudes a normally aspirated engine can get to). The exception is the "flutter speed", which is related to your TAS (also as noted before). Ken Kruger probably has an estimate of the "flutter speed" for a typical RV, but I doubt anyone has done any testing. It must be well in excess of the published Vne as we don't see many RVs falling out of the sky. Calculating the equivalent IAS for your TAS Vne (for a standard day, using a spin wheel), at sea level they are the same (surprise, surprise!) at 10K' 230 mph TAS = 198 MIAS, at 15K' 230 MTAS = 184 MIAS (@ 10K 210 MTAS = 182 IAS & @15K = 168MIAS). So flying at 230 mph IAS at 10,000' means your TAS is around 266 mph. How much margin remains before you are in danger of flutter? Who knows?
If you were to fly straight and level at 1g to a speed well in excess of Vne (IAS or TAS), and slow down, probably not much would happen. Its only when you hit some turbulence that you are likely to "excite" these flutter modes. The problem is that you can't usually get well past Vne in level flight - you have to dive to exceed Vne, then most people pull to recover. Pulling will usually makes things worse (but often it is an instinctive reaction). Slowing down with the smallest increase in loading on the airplane is probably best (Disclaimer - this is all theortically based as I am no test pilot). Proper flutter testing is very expensive and is done by flexing the structure in a controlled way, at a speed well below the predicted flutter speed, and measuring the response of the structure. Wind tunnel data can also help.
As I said at the top its a rather complex topic, difficult to cover well here. Hope this helps rather than confuses. Pete