Your question sounds familiar
This will be a bit of a ramble, sorry about that.
I started in 2003, and have mostly finished the empennage, and barely begun the wings. I'm building a new shop to replace my old one, so I've had another year's delay.
I am an electrical engineer (20 years in, 40+ years old, got to the now or never part).
Two little kids, one at-home wife. I work a lot of extra hours, and am away from home often. I will never be someone who completes a kit in 2.5 years and flies off happy to build four airplanes, an helicopter and a boat.
As a single-income family, and I make a reasonable salary, there are times it is still very tight. I got lucky on a couple of investments, and finished the mortgage 25 years early, which has helped a lot financially, which turned out to be the lowest priority issue anyway for other reasons.
With our situation, and the commitment to the family (re-read those vows again very carefully), you have to be very careful of how and when you work on the project, and who you work with. When you butcher a part and have to replace it, give it to a kid, and have them write their name on it. A couple of my daughter's friends got souvenirs this way, and left very happy.
** hot tip ** do not give a sharpie marker to a 3 year-old. That didn't turn out well.
Buy what you can as you need it. You don't need an awful lot to start work on the tail. Keep an extra-clean shop floor and table or bench top, so kids don't get cut on shavings.
When the kids were a little under 3 years old, they were allowed to come to the garage and draw or colour while sitting on the bench beside me.
Rule: no noise or power tools around young ears. No flying shavings.
If I need safety glasses, they shouldn't be there.
The oldest is 9 now, and has "her own" cleco pliers. She and her friends, and her little brother (5) were an amazing amount of help getting ready to rivet the VS/HS skins - little fingers put little rivets in little holes very quickly.
I did time trials, and they were a lot faster than me working alone.
They plugged in the rivets, I stuck on the tape, and sent them outside to the swingset while I shot the back rivets.
Call them back in, and the only limit to speed was the number of step stools.
- get a couple extra step stools, so you aren't haulilng metal shavings into the house.
There are lots of places that I can't involve the kids, and lots of places I can.
My wife is not very interested in helping, but many others here have been more lucky.
Van says you can't retain your existing lifestyle and finish an airplane in a reasonable period. He's right - I gave up on the reasonable period, and chose what I've wanted to do since age 8. I still have the bensen gyrocopter preview plan I saved up for then
Offer the wife opportunities to help. Discuss how much time and effort are involved, and some of the things you can do with it later. Doug Reeves had a good deal going where he was only allowed n hours per week, period.
Lee Valley Tools offers kid eye protection (goggle style) that I've used at about age 6. The local safety supply places have "narrow" style safety glasses that fit my 9 year old properly now. I'm trying to teach shop safety as well as work together, and we are all reinforcing each other now (put your tools away before cleanup is done, etc.)
Remember that a child's attention span is not very long, and it has to be interesting for them. I gave my kids a couple hundred airplane pictures to colour and draw on, and told the family that I'd build it, but they had to decide what colour and how it looked. They have been debating that for 6 years now, with no end in sight.
Buy three sets of cleco pliers, with the softer handles, not bare metal.
- putting skin on/taking it off I use both kids - one loading clecos into the pliers, and the other getting the clecos ready, and counting holes etc.
Emphasis on safe, accurate, then fast. We can cleco skin on in 1/3 the time I can do it alone. I offer "helper treats" (m&m peanut) stingily for "good help".
Whining removes one's treats.
It's good for the kids to see persistence, and ingenuity overcome challenges.
It has helped me to note (these from some of her friends):
I don't drink much any more, dont' smoke. That money goes to the airplane and the mortgage.
I don't spend one night a week and each weekend drinking beer and watching football/hockey/ballet.
I'm not out chasing other women. My "other woman" is a box of aluminum.
I'm not a practicing alcoholic.
She knows where I am.
She and the kids get bragging rights (my daddy is building a real airplane)
I was spending more per month on woodworking material and tools than I am now. (shhh , we'll discuss engine and avionics later...)
Oh, and do not tell the kids that they are really learning math, geometry, and measuring.
Make sure that you tell who's helping how much you appreciate and NEEDED their help. Everyone blooms with a thank you.
Go for it, and have fun. Treat the process as the goal, not the airplane, and you will be a lot happier.
If I get an airplane out the back end of this process, cool.
We aren't giving up, that's not the example to set for our kids
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)