R

RScott

Well Known Member
I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a plane, but he was going to do it anyway.

There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.

Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it? Or more accurately, were you able to keep peace in the family & if so, how? Did you get her to accept flying & if so, how?
 
me 2

I will be keeping a eye on this thread..

I see to be in the same boat.. :(

Bring it on O wise ones!!!

T
 
Aids

RScott said:
There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.
Click to expand...


Have seen it happen with both full scale and RC models. It is called AIDS.

Airplane Induced Divorce Syndrome
 
I'd say there's a big difference between wife not liking flying and wife not "allowing" you to fly and build your own plane. For the most part, my wife falls into the former category, but latter... well....let's say it never came up for discussion.
 
My wife doesn't enjoy flying as much as she does going somewhere.
In fact, while I was just beginning my instruction for my PPL, I talked my wife into going up for her first small plane flight ever... and she threw up. And that was with my very "gentle" instructor who grew up as the son of an astronaut and started flying at an early age. Even as careful as he was, her nerves couldn't take that first flight very well at all.
Later on when I got my ticket, my wife and I did take some nice short trips and she started having a good time pretty quick.

Even though she eventually took to flying, I still had to sell her on the RV, so what I did was to convince her how easy it will be to take short weekend pleasure trips that we could never have time to do by car.
For my nervous wife, I started out slow with short hops and NEVER banked more than 15 degrees if I could help it even if I had to make some extended pattern turns. No steep slips either; she would NOT be amused. Make no sudden moves, never say "oh oh", and never let her see you sweat.

Once you get her in the air a couple of times, extend the trips to fun destinations and pretty soon, she'll be hooked and you will wake up one Saturday morning and it will be her telling you where she'd like to fly that day. It will probably involve shopping.

Still, she may have her fear of flying for a long time so if you aren't careful and scare the beejeebers out of her even one time, it might be all over for you.

That's all I got.
 
Pinch Hitter

I used to give "pinch hitter" training for spouses. That is, a super condensed syllabus of flight lessons that enable a "spouse" to land an airplane after hubby had a heart attack in flight. They have no intention of obtaining a pilot's license or even solo.

Think of me as the tennis coach for middle aged lawyer's wives (joking).

Anyway, the idea was/is to take the unknown out of the fear of the unknown. After a few basic ground school lessons and a few very mellow orientation flights where the student takes the controls briefly, the overwhelming result is the Bonanza Grin (if there is such a beast, yuck).

In my experience most of the apprehension was gone by the first ground school lesson, and totally removed after 3 flights. Actually about half went on to become private pilots.

Husbands - don't try this yourself. I say this toungue in cheek but it's true. Your wife will tell you where to send it because she is too familiar with you. Me on the other hand, am a stranger and therefore she feigns politeness and attentiveness until we make some real progress. After that you can take over.

True story: a few years later one of these ladies put her training to use when her M.D. hubby suffered a stroke in flight. She declared an emergency and was vectored to a landing with EMS and fire crews waiting. She ran the Bonanza off into the grass at low speed but the hubby lived.

rd
 
Yep, best thing I did

We *used* to have "wings weekends" here at LZU (don't know why they don't do that any more :(... ).

I took my wife 2 years ago and put here in the free "right seat" course. Best thing I ever did. Now if I can just get here to do the radios when we go flying.

Other best thing to do, is to talk thru the goods *AND* the bads of flying, talk about training and recurrency and most importantly *DON'T PUSH*.

If it happens it happens, if it doesn't.... Well there is always bingo :eek:
 
More info: He says that he used to own a Sundowner (against her wishes) & had 2 little girls. Wife wouldn't let him take more than on kid at a time so she would have one left when he crashed & killed the both. And later, she would go along only if the whole family went (I guess she thought it would be best if they all died together!).

FWIW, my suggestions were to come to our Young Eagle days our EAA chapter puts on, work as ground crew, get some photos of the kids with big smiles, then encourage her to come & help out on the ground. Then maybe he could get her to come to the pancake breakfast & meet some other wives & get slowly involved. Fortunately, in our chapter most wives show up for special events--summer potlucks & the Christmas banquet in particular. Unfortunately, it sounds like she doesn't want him to have anything to do with aviation. Still looking for other suggestions.
 
Life is Short don't waste it

Life is short and there are no pauses in the clock. If building a plane and flying is a big deal for your friend and his budget can handle it, he should build the plane and fly and let his wife deal with her own situation. If there is an unreconcilable difference then they don't belong together. If he doesn't have the money he has no business compromising the family standard of living but if it's just a whiney negative influence and he can't deal with it, he probably doesn't belong in the air anyway.

Bob Axsom
 
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It kind of makes me wonder what kind of pilot he is. Maybe his wife is just trying to keep him from killing himself and others. I know I'm reading way between the lines here but she my know him better than he knows himself.
 
Little Chance of Change.....

You may take this story for what it is worth - I do not consider myself an expert, and a tale of failure does not (in my view) stand for much....

When I met the woman I was to marry, she understood how important flying is to me. We were both well-established in our careers and lives (mid 30's), She told me of a previous boyfriend who took her up in small planes, and did things that scared her. Although I never gave her anything but "Cadillac Rides", I knew that she was never going to accept it. The early learning she had was to mistrust small planes, and it made no difference to her who was flying. I told myself that it din't matter....and I was very wrong...

While she never stopped me from going flying (and in fact, her profession kept her away from home for months at a time, so I frequently lived like a single man), it was clear that when she was home, stealing a little time to go fly was a very difficult decision. I became conflicted, my airplane suffered from neglect, I did little personal traveling (To much guilt at leaving her behind)....and for awhile, I was conisdering getting out of the cockpit altogether. Hey, many professional aviators I know at my age have just walked away after many thousands of hours of flying....I'd still be in aviation with my job - but it wouldn't be the same.

A couple years ago, it was obvious that we were never going to be happy together (for a variety of reasons) and sacrificing my own future happiness was not what my friends and counselors recomended. I told her I was going to build my airplane, and she said "go ahead!" I knew I was going to be building alone.

That is now all in the past. I got out with a nice townhouse (I let her keep the house on the water with the huge mortgage), a new airplane, no debt, and enough cash to buy a nice place for the future. Oh, and an empty place inside that is hard to accept for a person whose professional motto is "Failure is Not an Option"....but life goes on.

Your friend has a decision to make - and no one can make it for him. Build and fly on alone (married or not), or give it up. But gambling on his wife's changing is probably not a good bet.

Paul
 
I envy all the builders out there who have had the great fortune of having a wife or significant other help with the construction of their RV's, or at least be very supportive of the effort.

Scott DellAngelo's recent post of his first flight is an example, where he mentioned that his wife was crying after he landed (I assume due to being happy/proud for Scott). You are a lucky man, Scott.

My wife is in the catagory of basically allowing me to do my thing. She has absolutely no interest in my airplane, or my flying, or general aviation for that matter. She knows that building an airplane has been a long time dream of mine and has not complained about it at all. In fact, she suggested that I build a plane, if that was a dream of mine, after I came home from OSH one year all puppy-eyed about building something. (The RV bug had not bitten me yet).

So my aviation hobby is just that.....*my* hobby. I will always wish that she would come along for a flight for a hamburger somewhere, or just a scenic sortie up and down Green Bay. But it is what it is. I always put her and the kids first so that my aviation activities have never been an issue in that regard. That is one of the main reasons why my 6A has taken 8.5 years to build.

I guess what I am saying is if you can balance your time spent with your wife and family with that spent with the airplane, it is a can do situation. It just takes a bit more sacrifice on both sides at times.

I agree with Paul whole-heartedly. Expecting her to change is a pipe dream.


Regards,
 
My spouse is also scared

My wife is also scared, but she puts out an effort to fly with me and is very brave. In return I try to never do anything that will scare her and always tell her before adjusting power, prop, or mixture. I try not to lean to roughness because even though she understands what is happening a stumbling engine really gets to her. She wasn't always that way, but things happened and her tolerance of flying began to fade. She grew up flying with her family in her dads 235 Cherokee and later their 260 Comanche. In her younger years it didn't excite her to fly, but it meant they were going somewhere interesting. After we met the interest that I had always had in learning mixed in with a flying family and friends and it was only natural to begin lessons. She was okay with this and even encouraged me.We later ended up with a quarter share in a Cherokee 180. Here is where the problem began with her fear. One of my partners was a tinkerer of the worst kind and was forever messing with the airplane. We never knew what we would find, or worse yet not find when we went to fly. An example would be after an engine overhaul he decided to adjust the carb heat and made it so we couldn't make full power on take off and taxi'd around bypassing the air filter. He never bothered to tell any of us that he had done this until after it was discovered. He removed the lense off of the rotating beacon because he saw a potentiometer inside and decided to adjust it to see what it would do. When he put the top back on he left out the O ring and you guessed it, here came the rain. We were the next to fly the plane and during preflight she watched it arc and smoke while I checked the lights. This airplane also had a quirk that caused it to stumble very slightly on final approach when adding power. I later found out that this is not that uncommon with that engine and carb, but we had it back to the A&P several times and they could never make it better. Needless to say, we decided to sell because she just couldn't get comfortable in that airplane, and with the partnership.

Very shortly after selling I had decided to build an RV-6 and my wife was receptive once being shown that it was a real airplane with great capabilities. I had ordered the video from Vans and purchased the air compressor. I had even scheduled a trip to Oregon for a flight and to order my kit. Then came the day that would forever change the way she would see flying. She was with our kids at her fathers place of business when her uncle came in briefly who was about to fly from San Jose to Sisters Oregon with his 2 year old son. His wife had driven the day before and he had to stay in town for a meeting of some sort so he decided to fly their baby so she wouldn't be in the car for 10 or more hours with such a small child. Well it just so happened that the weather was going bad in N. CA and into Oregon and her uncle was racing to get going to beat the storm. She commented to me that evening that if he would use poor judgement like this that anybody could. He had 2000 or so hours, time flying in Alaska, and was a really good pilot. The next morning she called me at work and told me that they never made it to Sisters and that there was a search for them going on. I left for home and the extended family all sat around and waited for news. There we all sat talking about how well he knew his plane and how he could sit it down just about anywhere if he had to. Generally we were all trying to be optomistic. The call finally came late in the day after he went down and the news was the worst that it could be. Everything that he did leading up to the crash was wrong and showed poor judgement. Witnesses said he didn't preflight, started his plane before the driver of the fuel truck gave him back his credit card, put his empty oxygen bottle in his vehicle on the ground, and then he flew off into deteriorating weather. Somewhere around Red Bluff he called his wife on his cell and told her that the weather looked bad ahead with a black wall and that he would see her in an hour. The radar tapes showed a climb to 15,400 to get over the black clouds. Apparently there were two towering black cells about 20 miles apart that were connected down at about the 8000' level and he chose to go high and fly right between them. Factor in the wind coming off of the back of Mount Shasta and his right wing seperated approx. 6 feet from the tip between the ailerons and the flap. From this point it took 3 minutes of knowing that he had just killed himself and his son before they impacted near Tennant, CA. Witnesses said that he came through the cloud layer wings level, but in a steep decent implying that he flew it all the way down. Between the accident, the funeral, and the image replaying over and over of 3 long minutes my wife completely lost her desire to fly. If this wasn't enough, we later found out that his airplane had been involved in a landing accident before he bought it. The accident does show up in the accident database, but was not in the logs and was not disclosed to him. The previous accident was the pilot hitting a semi truck with the mains when flying over a road to land at Hollister, CA. The area that was repaired turned out to be the point that failed on the wing near Shasta. This just confirmed in her mind that planes airworthinesses could not be trusted. After all, she had experience with our partner and our plane, and now this. She was finished!

Well, 5 years went by and my wife went on a trip with her mother. I also went on a trip of my own and visited Aurora. She came home to find that we were the proud owners of an RV-9A tail kit. I had learned many years ago that "FORGIVENESS COMES EASIER THAN PERMISSION" and decided to try my luck. She was supportive and even flys with me today. I do however go way out of my way to never scare her. Now she has pictures of the plane in her office and tells her clients about the plane that "We" built. And she did help to build it! I made sure that I needed her help and now she can say those words with pride. It is a tough thing overcoming a scared or disinterested wife, but it can be done.

If anybody is interested in reading the accident report on her uncle his plane was a 1969 Piper PA-24-260C Comanche. The crash site was near Tennant, CA and his N number was N9324P. I believe the date was July 16, 1996. His plane went down almost to the minute the same day the TWA 747 exploded leaving New York for France. I haven't read about his accident in years now because it is just sickening after going through the whole thing. I even went up there to recover the missing part of the wing several months later when a deer hunter found it. The Sheriff, FAA, and NTSB were not interested in retrieving it. When we did and were going to have it tested by Failure Analyisis the FAA took it from us and tested it themselves. Until that point there was not enough left to come to any conclusions. They concluded that it took 9 G's to break it at that point. The other side however didn't fail and it hadn't been damaged in the previous accident. I think in the long chain of events contributing to this accident the conclusion was pilot error. (Oxygen) But for all intensive purposes, pick one.
 
Patience, education, accept her decision and pray

RScott said:
I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a plane, but he was going to do it anyway.

There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.

Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it? Or more accurately, were you able to keep peace in the family & if so, how? Did you get her to accept flying & if so, how?
Click to expand...
Ahaaaa, I understand.

AIDS :eek: Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome.

I have some personal experience in this area, but bottom line if she is OK with YOU flying solo than that will have to be good enough, at least for awhile. Just get lots of life insurance and tell her she will be rich if you die, that will cheer her up. :rolleyes:

Now the serious answer.

There have been many a wife won over by flying in light planes, RV's in particular. I have heard woman talking about being afraid to fly commercially or having a bad experience in a light plane, but later flying in a RV they felt secured and that the plane was solid. Sitting in a big airliner and sitting in a plane you can see in can actually be a plus in easing a passengers fear.

As a CFI I have taught a few "flying companions". I find the more they know the better. Don't have delusions of her learning to fly, but knowing weather, charts, radios and yes some basic skills helps. Many woman want a fighting chance if you have the "Big One" (heart attack). They want to know they can tune 121.5 and get it to the ground. They don't have to solo, just basics.

When I was a new private pilot, I flew with my wife, and I taught her about fuel and weather. She was a nerves at first. I told her never let me fly into bad weather or run low on fuel. So had some control. I listen to her and she had good instincts and input. She reminded me to be safe. We ended up owning a few planes before the RV and enjoyed flying all over. When I sold one plane and was plane-less for a while, she said, I miss the plane!!!! She really learned not to just fly but really enjoyed it.

Men (no offense ladies Rosie, Roberta) we know you can't force your lady to do anything she does not want to. Obviously it would be great that she share in the joy with you, but you may have to plan for the possibility she may never come around. You can't push. However having her around flying groups, like the EAA and going to social functions, where she meets other woman who fly, is a good thing. Oshkosh, she will meet flying spouses with great travel stories about meeting neat people in neat locations. (Once I sat across from Mrs. Rutan at a Oshkosh dinner, mother of Burt and Dick. Cool, nice lady.)

I know you said this is about a friend who is a "Newbe". I don't know you, I mean your friends flight hours, but assume he's a new or low time pilot, or the wife is new? I also assume aircraft ownership, kit plane or otherwise, is a new issue with the "wife". Its a lot for a wife to chew on, a plane built by her husband in the garage (for $100,000) and flown by a guy who just got his license. (For writing purposes I will say you or your wife.)


Here are the factors, fear, money and time. There will always be some mix of these.


If she in not a participant, be careful if you do fly solo; you don't want to make your RV the other woman, or you will be getting the lettering stencil out to paint "Divorced" on your plane. May be you won't have a plane to paint if you know what I mean. :eek: If you spend all your TIME in the hanger you may end up living there. Flying takes lots of time. Time away from the family.

A woman looks at financial security. I mean if the frig and stove are on the blink and you want a new Lycoming.....What about the kids college?


Pilots have to be reasonable and understand the other persons fear. I fly for the airlines and fly general public. I get people who come on-board the plane and want reassurance. If they see me, they ask is the weather good, with a nervous smile. I look them straight in the eyes and say with a slight smile, YES Mam! The weather is great, we have a great crew and I promise to get you there safely on time." They just want to see if you are confident. The differnce is your wife knows you. Frankly, she may not have confidence in you. Ouch! It had to be said, but you can change that over time, may be. May be she has good reasons for not wanting to fly with you.

So if we eliminate time and money, than it is fear of dying. Yes I said dying not flying. Which is reasonable. Why fly a plane for fun, if you are not going some where and it has risk. Seems reasonable to a non flyer, and statistically they would be right for general aviation.

May be down the road she'll fly with another pilot, a family friend with high time you both know? Don't take it personally if you are a low time pilot. Remember JFK jr. and his fatal crash with wife and sister in law. I know your wife does.

Woman have a built in danger meter. They are right, flying can be dangerous. Flying (general aviation) can be safe, however the statistics put it worse than driving a car. However we all know many accidents are avoidable (running out of gas, flying in bad weather, too low, VFR pilot in IMC, poor maintenance, poor currency....). Eliminate these common reasons for accidents, the statistics for GA would be outstanding. It will never be as safe as commercial aviation, but it could be way safer that driving a car where any crazy can run into you.

Nobody can give you advice in your relationship because we don't know you (your friend) and its between you two, but read what I wrote you will see education is key, for both of you. If an accident happens, you should know what happened and have a critical understanding, because you wife might ask. BS will not cut it. "Ahaaaa honey flying is totally safe."

No, it is not totally safe and it can kill you if you're careless. I would not be that blunt, but don't fool yourself and be honest in a tactful way. You have to show what you are doing to be safe and how you reduce the risk. Don't say there is little risk, she sees the news. If you can aleave her concern that you will never let that spacific thing happen because of XYZ, that helps, but don't expect her to say "let's go" right away.

Good Luck, stay married and be happy either way; Just remember she will get the plane in a divorce.

George CFI (inst/me) ATP B737/757/767
 
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Two things worked for me. One was making it about the destination and not the flying.
Second was getting her aquainted with wifes who really enjoy the flying and friendships. This one is the doosey.

My wife started out, not hating flying, but having really no interest. When we went places AND went with other wifes, she got hooked.

We go on big trips with others, like the flight of 15 to the Carribean. Those are the ones that hook them wifes.

Last year a flight of seven tour of the Northwest. These big trips are something my wife now helps organize.

I will admit, my wife came willingly. Im very lucky. :D But started out rough.

Good luck.
 
New wife (again)

WOW, how strange this Sunday morning is. I just posted another thread about who the "Silent" partner is and suggested a new thread about how the airplane was built anyway, in spite of the divorce.

Time is so precious and what is wasted is never regained so I decided to 'build it anyway' despite the 'previous occupant's' resistance. She said that we don't need another airplane (I have an ag-plane with which I make a living and buy all her nice stuff/, 'scuze, BOUGHT all her nice stuff). If you're the provider and bust your hiney then build the airplane anyway. I guess that at 60 I've become somewhat of a grumpy old man, if you ask my ex. Jenny, whom I recently married asks if we can go someplace in the RV today, prays for my safety if she can't go some days and just loves me the way I'm made. If you don't build the airplane, you'll be sorry and the marriage won't be any better-probably worse. 2 cents,
Pierre
 
Best not to force anyone

Best not to force anyone that does not think they would like flying. From my observation, men say too much to their spouses about the bad things that can happen anyway. Best to stay interested and positive about flying so that she can grow into understand how much you love flying--but not as much as her :) . My wife was very unsure 20-years ago about flying, and she even thought she would get airsick because her mom told her she would. Since then, we have owned two production aircraft, have flown many places and have built and now fly an RV-9A. She got her pilots license 12-years ago on her own decision and even helped build our 9'er. However, even as a licensed pilot, she was afraid that the RV was going to be too much for us to handle, right up to my first test flight, but she now loves to fly the airplane more than any airplane we have ever flown! I have found over the years that people who think they are not going to like flying tend to be the people that really love flying once they get started, so don't push and stay interested and positive about flying.
 
Great Gal, Afraid of Heights

I've been actively building for 24 years, working on my 4th build at this moment, AND I've been happily married for 31 years to a woman who does not like aviation at all. How have I done it? First, a little background.

When I started my Long-EZ in 1981, Burt Rutan had a saying that became an Oshkosh tee shirt classic. It went something like this: "My wife said that either she goes or the airplane goes.........and I'm sure going to miss her!". That tee shirt became a hot topic around my house because my wife did not learn of my love for aviation until after we had married.

Initially, my building became a sore spot in our marriage not only because of her fear of it, but because I kept getting epoxy on her refirigerator, glasses, car, and just about everything else in sight. Our inital solution was to agree to disagree and live with the 900 lb. gorilla in the room without addressing it.

I sold the Long-EZ and remained out of aviation for a couple of years until I found out about Van's and the RV-6. I tried a couple of other hobbies along the way (building cars and model railroading), but my wife came to understand that these substitutes were not making me happy. She agreed to try harder on the RV to be more understanding and we established a couple of ground rules. I needed to balance my airplane time better with her and she needed to get some equal funds for her hobbies.

The RV build was much easier than the Long-EZ but not without a once-a-year fight about it, usually centered around $$$$. After selling the RV, I bought her a house full of furniture and a full-time decorator to make up for the sacrifices she made. Once we finished the house, I announced my plans to build the Rocket. By this time, she was fine.

The capper to all this is that she is now considering building a lot on an airport and building an airport home. I hope to close on the land this month. I would have never thought that she would come this far. I understand her fear of heights and I don't try to force her to go places with me. My boys are more than happy to ride along. She has come to understand that aviation is a big part of what makes me happy and she doesn't try to make it an issue between us. She knows that I don't love her any less because she doesn't share my excitement over airplanes.

So the short answer is that it takes some give and take on both of you to make it work. You have to understand her concerns, validate them, and offer her a few bones as well. Show her that you can balance your life with her and your love of aviation. In return, she needs to recognize that your love of aviation is not going to come between the two of you. Don't make her feel inadequate because she doesn't like to fly. Strike an agreement for a balance of "aviation time" and "home time".

I would never choose aviation over my wife, but then again, I am very happily married. My wife loves me enough to never make it a choice between one or the other. I like my Rocket just fine, but it isn't going to keep me warm at night.
 
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Warming Up

My wife is from Central America where, according to her, people who fly always crash, if you go swimming in the ocean you will get eaten, if you go off to fight the Contras you never come back. (that part I believed).
So when I started building the -9 and she saw how much time and money it was taking, she hated it. However as time went on and the plane took shape she has warmed up to the idea and even supported the decision to get a line of credit on our home to get a zero time rebuilt engine instead of trying to save a few grand by rebuilding one myself.
Now that the plane is a couple months from flying, she has been asking how long it will take to get to her sister's house in Miami! And, since my savings is nearly depleted, she is paying for my transition training with Alex D. next month.
I don't envision us taking many trips together, although she did recently ask why I didn't build the RV10 (not available at the time) so the whole family could fly together.
When she gave me grief in the past about the project I would always tell her that it was going to happen with or without her. I spent my life up to now working hard and getting college degrees in order to do as I please. I used, mostly, my own money, the kids don't suffer, bills are paid, and life is good.
It is a balancing act and has worked out quite well. Best of all, now that the plane is in a hangar I am in the process of repainting the garage and making it into a family room. She loves that!

Bruce
 
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I'm almost there and didn't even know it. I bought my wife a new Lexus after I sold my straight tail 172. She is the roller coaster queen. You couldn't make her sick if you tried. She takes care of the navigation duties on board and likes to go places. I learned a long time ago to mention how quick we could be at the gulf coast for a few days in our new RV-9A or that it was just a short 30 minute flight from Florida to the islands. I've been married to her for 37 years so I'm pretty sure she won't divorce me over the plane. I've done way worse things than that. :D
 
It is about the destination, not the trip

My Ex hated flying but loved to tell people we owned a plane. I guess the snob appeal fit right in with her personality. It got to the point where my flying was taking time away from her and the arguments became unbearable. That plane was sold in the divorce sale.

Fast forward six years, I ordered the tail kit and met Wife Version 2.0 in the same week. Her father is a private pilot as well and the thought of flying doesn?t frighten her at all.

She actually enjoys things mechanical and one of our first dates was spent bolting a roll bar in the race car. So the plane thing isn?t a big deal. More so since her father insists on visiting every few months so he can help pound rivets.

The one thing I did do was put a big map of the US in my workshop with a string and concentric circles, not in miles but in hours centered over our home town. She loves to travel and the thought of getting Hilton Head Island in 45 minutes is all the incentive she needs. Like some of the others, it is about the destination, not the trip.
 
I've got the greatest w3ife in the world. She rides Harley's with me. Flys and even gets in and rivets with me when her help is needed. My mother-in-law said to her one day at a family dinner " If you don't go with him he might fine someone who will" Smart woman.
 
supporting wife

I guess I fall into the category of a totally supporting wife. As much as she loves traveling and the destination, she does mind the type of transportation to get there. Before our lovely daughter appeared a year ago, we'd be gone every other weekend. It was easy because I have an airline job.

But she totally shys away from anything that doesn't resemble a scheduled airline or something with jets hanging off it.

However, she does understand my problem/illness - airplanes. She totally supports the RV and all my RC airplanes. She does, however, demand I pay attention to her. And without her income, the RV would not be.

I've managed to get her up a few times in the Wichita Bugsmasher - probably not the best times, though. Once was a typical hot Georgia day with my instructor who wanted to practice stalls. Another was a freezing morning (20 deg F) in Ohio when we went for breakfast.

I keep telling her that trips to her parents would be soooo much faster (200 nm) than flying commercial. By the time you park the car, TSA hassles, etc... but she says it's still cheaper to go commercial! She may be right since we have the travel privileges. Maybe not for long if we don't start making money at this airline.


 
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I have been flying for over 30 years, no accidents, no violations. I owned 3 planes prior to my 7A (which isn't flying for another couple years). I am a CFI with about 2500 hours. My wife started out an enthusiastic passenger, but now is extremely hesitant to fly in anything other than a scheduled airline. I know you are asking "What did you do to her?" I really don't think I did anything, but I can site a couple things that happened to make matters worse.

She started to realize how out of control she feels and experienced a couple of situations that scared her. One of the first was when we were in the weather on our way out to Arlington VA. I asked the controller for help navigating around a storm that I knew was somewhere ahead. I didn't have a stormscope or any on board weather detection. The controller asked for my final destination and then proceeded to turn me directly into the worst part of the storm. When I could no longer hold my heading and altitude I called him back and said I was doing a 180 he confirmed with "yeah, you are right in the middle of it." Then he navigated me around it. I don't know if it was poor controlling, some kind of a joke, or if he was just an a@#hole. My wife told me to spend the money on the stormscope as soon as we got home.

On another trip I got some carb ice that cleared successfully but my wife was not convinced the engine could be trusted. I made an emergency decent (IFR again) and was met by the fire department as I rolled out for a non-eventful landing. The engine checked out fine on the ground and I appeased my wife by having a mechanic check compression and plugs before we launched VFR the next day. After that trip I added the carb temp probe to my engine analyzer. This plane will be fuel injected.

The 540 in my last plane had a quirk too, it would get a nearly imperceptable miss if you leaned it to 50 rich of peak. 75 to 100 rich of peak would get rid of it completely. I say nearly imperceptable...I am sure many of you caught that. My wife would immediately tell me it felt rough ( I didn't need an engine analyzer!) Ok, so everyone else got 14-15 gph and I routinely ran 15-16 at the same power settings - the extra gallon burn was worth it, although I admit it took me a while to accept that and her confidence suffered because of it.

I am very saddened by my wife's reluctance to fly with me. There is no one else I want there as much. She says it isn't me and says there is no way she would fly with anyone else at the controls in a light aircraft. I am afraid I will lose her as a flying companion completely in the RV-7A... she is happy that it is all going to be new and fuel injected as well. I hope it is enough to get her into the plane. You can rest assured I will not be taking her out in heavy turbulence and I will be the guy out there flying the 3 mile wide pattern to make the 15 degree or less of bank - and only fly left hand patterns or straight in. She isn't saying she won't fly with me, and she has always been understanding that I need to fly. My patience and understanding will be the key. Life is too short to spend it alone.

I will be watching this string too...
 
Lots of exposure

My wife is also afraid of flying but is willing to consider it since I just flew my -9A recently. When we hold hands in an airliner, she gets to hold one finger. That way, she does not crush my knuckels. She started out not liking motorcycles, but now just loves the Goldwing, so there is hope. It may help to get your spouse out to the airport so that she can watch a bunch of landings and takeoffs. My wife enjoyed some of the flyins or small airshows. Just remember, it is for her to SEE a lot of flying and feel a little more comfortable. It may help to see that airplanes don't crash on every flight. Then on to lunch and the shops. Just avoid the negative talk. Don't push her yourself, let the other calm, easy going, experienced pilots (even if you are one yourself) help. Then have someone taxi with her, just to the hangar. Then again, and as many times as helpful. Hopefully, the comfort level will rise. Several different airplanes help. It may take all summer, or into next year. A little at a time. A couple who are friends helped a bunch. They are a retired airline pilot and his wife, also a pilot. She walked my wife completely through a briefing around and in the airplane. Since the day was very calm, they just took her for a turn around the airport, HER choice, THEIR choice. I almost missed it. He is an instructor and could not have been more gentle at the controls. It was a very nice flight, very positive for her.
 
Thanks to all you guys who responded. I sent the URL to the guy and I hope he will benefit.

I myself am very lucky. My wife saw her mother run every minute of her father's life & vowed not to follow her example. She won't oppose anything I would do if I were single except for chasing other women. She encouraged me to learn to fly even though I was hesitant about spending the family money when I was still getting started in my career. She was supportive of my buying the plane we have now, an Interstate Cadet, and she supported my wanting to build an RV. She has no interest in flying herself, but is happy to go with me. And she covered for us when I sneaked her father off to give him airplane rides, against his wife's rules.

Will never trade her in for a newer model.
 
The $100 veggie-burger

For men and women who read the "Good Book" we know that divorce is only permited in the case of adultery. I think it's very important that you don't call her (your RV) your "mistress" or spend weekends and late nights with her away from home. :D

God can save your marriage and make it enjoyable at the same time. But let's look at some reasoning.

Top 10 Causes of Death
-----------------------
1)Major Cardiovasular Diseases
2)Malignant Neoplasms
3)Chronic Lower Resperitory Dis.
4)Diabetes Mellitus
5)Influenza and Pneumonia
6)Alzheimers
7)Motor Vehicle Accidents
8)Renal Failure
9)Septicemia
10)Firearms

Leading Causes of Accidental Death
---------------------------------
1)Motor Vehicle
2)Unspecified nontransport accid'ts
3)Falls
4)Poisoning and Noxious Subst's
5)Drowning
6)Exposure to Smoke, Fire, Flames
7)Other Land Transport Accidents
8)Complications of Med/Surg Care
9)Accidental Discharge of Firearms

Airplane accidents are not even on the map! If you wife does your grocery shopping and is not feeding you disease fighting foods then she is the #1..#2..and #3 contributor to your families premature death.
 
Overcoming Fear

My wife has passively supported my interest in flying. Early in our marriage, she never enjoyed flying in the rental beaters. On our very first flight together, the door on her side of the plane flew open as soon as we rotated aloft. This did little to change her mind about the wrung-out planes that we rented. One day, James C. and Ken H. flew down in their beautiful -6's and gave her a ride. She understood from then on what our -8 project was about. In her words- " We have been renting and flying around in beat up Volkswagens...I just flew in a Porsche!" She has been on board ever since.
Thanks James and Ken! Now if I could only score a ride in your aerial Porsche some day...
Don
 
My perspective

I thought some of you might like one wife's perspective on this topic.

* I dislike the aluminim shavings that get tracked all over the house.
* I dislike the loud cursing that emanates from the basement when rivets need to be drilled out.
* I dislike the Monte Python dvd's that need to be played at full volume in order to be heard over the air tools.
* I dislike being called downstairs to hold parts and move equipment right in the middle of cooking dinner.
* I dislike the amount of money this airplane is going to cost us over the next few years.
* I really dislike being awoken at 3:00 am by the air compressor switching on in the basement just below our bedroom. :mad:
* I like bucking rivets when I don't have to do it too often.
* I like that this project demonstrates to our teenage daughter the value of commitment and perserverence.

* I love that my husband works very hard to balance his family commitments with his passion for this project.
* I love that he continues to try to engage me in participating in the building of the RV at a level that I feel comfortable with without pressuring me.
* I love that instead of sitting in the corner bar with his buddies to wind down after a long day, he's just a few steps away in the workshop.
* I love that one day I will have the benefit of flying for a $100 hamburger in a cool airplane.
* I admit that I love to tell people that we are building an airplane and that he doesn't mind that I say this, even though it isn't true.

Most importantly, I love that my husband is engaged in a project that makes him happy.

I do think about the risks involved in GA but I figure that the rewards far outweigh them. Plus, I'm watching how meticulous he is in building this plane. I think I'll be more comfortable in our -7 than in a commercial aircraft.

My husband forwarded me this thread with a note telling me how lucky he is. I think I'm the lucky one.
 
Lucky to be me

It took a lot of nerve to ask my wife about building a 9
A, but I will never forget the response. We were on our way to church when I "popped the question." There was about three miles of silence, then she said, "Well, there is one thing you don't want to do." What? "Do it when you are 70." I was 59 at the time. I ordered the tail kit the next day. Now, that is support.

But she isn't a big fan of flying, and I doubt she ever will be. She just knows that I am. One thing I have noticed that may make a difference with your flying relationship: Low wing planes are better than high as far as comfort factor. She seemed to enjoy the Cherokees I learned in much more than the Cessna I later bought. I think it was the idea of sitting on something instead of hanging below. Perhaps it is just the unobstructed view of the ground in the high wing. Anyway, I believe the RV will allow her better personal perceived security.

After some years not flying with me (the Cessna was long since sold) we went up again, of course in a low wing plane. I needed to begin building her confidence. I told her it would be about a half hour of simple sight-seeing, and picked what I knew would be smooth weather. Right after takeoff there was a slight drop in rpm. Argh, what to do now. I circled the airport and pretty well figured it was a mag, although I didn't dare check. Since I was at basically cruise power, I did the half hour, all within gliding distance of the airport and with a smile on my face. No need to comment on the decision making process, I am not all that proud of it either. Yes, it was the mag, and yes, the flight did have the desired effect.

I have been blessed with a wife that can support something she doesn't really enjoy because she knows that I do. She shows real pride when someone asks how the plane is coming along. She has put up with the mess, the expense and with having a plane in the garage (HER car still has a slot inside, however.) We plan on traveling in the RV, starting this summer. I think she will enjoy it. That is part of the goal.

Bob Kelly, N908BL, "Metal Exercise"
 
The Scales of Justice

A common thread I see in this... thread is learning to find a balance. Many of us aviation junkies (yours truley included) tend to approach our passion with an all out...do or die...kamakazie mentality. ie...gotta get-er-dun. As a veteran of two "wars" :( , I am now married to my 3rd wife. life is to short to do it on yer own. So take the time with the kiddies, take yer wife to dinner, and let that project take just a little longer than you would like. If you do it right, you might get to have your cake and eat it too.

BTW...My wife is a jewl that actually was affraid of heights when I married her. She loves to go places (shopping ya know) and now flys with me. Baby steps ;)

Dan B
Mesa, AZ
 
Wives not liking flying.

My wife doesn't care to fly much either. She will go somewhere if it does involve a destination with shopping. Guys, be patient, if they go, your on their time schedules. Also, pic your days wisely, scud running and rough weather will kill it for your instantly. They see that and then if confirms their concerns that flying is dangerous. (Getting out of the parking lot at Fred-Meyers is dangerous too). I also had a long talk with my wife before we got married, and I told her that I have a dream to build an airplane and fly it. That is my passion and sole purpose in life. I told that this is part of me and what I am and that if she tried to change me and not let me fly then it wasn't to be. She understood and we have got along. I also tell her that when I'm building, at least I'm not out chasing girls or going to the bar, I'm in the garage!! I also have life insurance, which eases their concerns that if you did die in a plane crash, she would not have huge burdens to bear on her own. There are some women out there that just don't like it when their husbands have such a passion for airplanes. The reason is, they don;t like competition. You much also divide your time to get them both satisfied.
 
from one of those wives

hey, my husband & i met building an airplane (pa12 supercruiser) 30 years ago. there were 3 partners, other 1 ended up divorced, we got married. i jumped right into flying with great enthusiasm, took a few lessons & got my written. THEN he did some really dumb stuff, scared the pants off me, & i refused to fly with him at all for about five years. time and greater skill on his part have solved the problem. at his point, i'd rather fly with the old goat than drive with him in a car. we have a grass strip at home & he flies at every available opportunity & i think he's a damn fine pilot - there went the fear factor. however, during my earth bound years, he kept flying, but bought me off with some fabulous trips - bribe her, it worked in my case!!! he's got an RV8 now, still working out some bugs, but he's got my blessing all the way - flying is his passion & always will be. just let your wife know she comes first - even if she doesn't have wings ;)
 
Wife????

Radomir said:
I'd say there's a big difference between wife not liking flying and wife not "allowing" you to fly and build your own plane. For the most part, my wife falls into the former category, but latter... well....let's say it never came up for discussion.
Click to expand...

Wife?? What's that?? They can "allow" and "not allow"................OH, yeah......I remember. Had one of those a long time ago :eek: Sure glad that's gone :)
 
If you have a daughter...

Since I am the father of a grown and now married daughter, I would like to put a little different spin on this thread. My daughter is now 28, but back when she was about 16 years old, we discussed the idea of her taking flying lessons. She knew how passionate I was about flying and she'd been flown to visit the grandparents several times so she wasn't a stranger to flying.

I thought it would be a good idea for her to get a few lessons in and perhaps even solo. I didn't want to pressure her but I was up front about why I wanted her to take lessons. My thinking was that if she were ever being given a ride by a boyfriend, she would know right away if he was doing something stupid with the airplane. :eek: Also, if she were ever in an emergency with someone else at the controls, then hopefully she would know how to declare an emergency and get the airplane safely on the ground. The goal wasn't necessarily to solo but to learn how to fly the airplane and talk on the radio. :cool:

Well, she got to the point that her instructor said she could solo; she could do everything the instructor expected of a student pilot prior to solo but she didn't want to. So she never did officially solo because all this took place one summer and when school started in the fall, she had a lot of other activities she would rather do. And that was okay with me.

Does she regret taking flying lessons? No. In fact, after finishing college and law school and now being married for 6 years, she says that someday she wants to get her Private Pilot License. Do I regret spending money on those lessons? Absolutely not.

So you fathers, assuming your wives don't object, consider the idea of offering a few flying lessons before your daughters leave home. I believe it will pay big dividends. Also consider the very real possibility that your daughters will someday most likely be wives!

As for my wife, she falls into the "I will fly with you if I see a need" category, i.e., a trip to a vacation spot, to visit friends, or perhaps shopping. And she is very supportive of me finishing the RV.

Don Hull
 
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wife also afraid

My wife is also afraid of flying. On a commercial airliner she has a very firm grip on my hand during take off, and the same on landing if it is turbulent.

In an effort to overcome her fear and to get her to share something about which I am passionate, I asked her to take ground school with me when I started learning to fly. She did and did very well. However ground school simply transferred her fear of flying from the landing phase to the take off phase of flight. She did not want to continue on and learn to fly.

I had been talking about building a plane for years, and I think she thought that it would never happen despite my heavy involvement in increasingly larger RC models and my growing workshop.

She wasn't thrilled when I first started the project, but she seems to be warming to it a little. She has even helped me shoot/buck a few rivets. I do not let it take time away from our time. I only work on it in the evenings after she is asleep and on the weekends when she is at work.

Time will tell if she warms to it enough to travel with me.

I also have a kid sister who is in college who started out saying that she would never fly with me. After a particularly long drive back down to school (10 hours) and a very long commercial flight home (12 hours due to weather), she agreed to fly with me back and forth to school. Now not only is she fine with me flying her back and forth to school, but she also asks questions like, "how long would it take to get to D.C." and "how many people can the plane hold." I may have a convert if I keep it up!

Antony
 
My wife's answer!

Today I was reading the different post about wifes and decided to forward the link from the web page to my wife's office computer (email). Well, she responded to me and I was a little surprised. I thought I would share her response with the rest of you. Needless to say, I will have to wait a little longer before ordering my RV-7 tail kit. Here is her response:

Hi honey, maybe you should post a question:

"My wife is concerned about me dedicating all of my time to a project
outside the family while we are raising three young children. I already
have numerous "projects" in my garage which will consume all my time as
they need to be finished to prepare for the new project, which will then
also consume all my time. We are also trying to put an addition on our
house, which is sorely needed for the comfort of my family, which will
also not be done because we are dedicating all of our money, well, see
the above. Lastly, once all my time is dedicated to this project and it
is actually finished, it will require more time and money to maintain
and will additionally put my life at risk. However, should I end up on
the wrong end of that risk, my insurance policy will pay for that sorely
needed addition. Still, my wife doesn't seem to see the value in that
as a positive outcome to a negative risk."


Well, after a response like that I think I need to work on her more! I am sure I can convince her that a $75,000.00 plane is worth more than the house expansion. Any thoughts? :)

Bill
RV-7 wanabe.
 
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I too had a project list that needed to be done before starting a plane. It wasn't one forced on me by my wife or anything. Just some projects I had discussed with her. The biggy was remodeling the kitchen. I really wanted to do the plane but I knew once I started it, the other projects would not get done. One day I was surfing the internet and came across a "list of things I wished I had done" concerning building a kitplane. Most of the comments were things like "I wish I had started sooner"... However, one comment was "I wish I had finished the kitchen remodeling project before I started the plane." I took that as a sign and jumped into the kitchen project. I partially consoled myself while working on the kitchen by telling myself that I was really working on my plane. :) It sort of helped. Anyway, I did fnish the kitchen before starting on the plane. So I had a clear conscience.

My wife is supportive of my building. She doesn't really participate except for holding things here and there. However, she doesn't complain when I spend money on the plane and I know that is a big plus. Of course, I return the favor by supporting her when she wants to buy herself something. Nor is she interested in flying. The first time I took her up in a friend's Warrior she lost her cookies. A couple of years later I took her up in a C172. Within five minutes she was pointing to her mouth and looking rather pale. I barely got us on the ground in time. It took her all that afternoon to get over feeling bad. So, we haven't tried again.

I originally started out building a Glastar when I thought we would be flying together. It fit that mission better than an RV. However, when it became apparent that I'd probably be flying more solo than anything else, I re-evaluated my choice. The RV is cheaper (Glastar/Sportsman keep going way up in price), simpler to build, and faster. So I switched.
 
To TOC Pilot -- and many others!

Yes there are many things that need to be done and few of us can do them all or for that matter, pay for them all! I went many years without a plane while my children were young. When I finally got to the point that I could honestly say that my primary obligations were well covered, I pulled out a trade-a-plane and started looking for my 2nd plane. The first one was purchased when I was 19 and sold before I was married. So while I had to wait 10 years before I could afford the luxury of a plane - that is just something that you have to do... prioritize. So I don't consider your wife's words harsh at all. No, you shouldn't work on her, you need to work on getting to that place in your life that you can afford the time and money to spend some on yourself. No matter how you justify it, you are doing it for yourself. ;)

If it flies, floats or ..... it is cheaper to rent.

I still have some unfinished projects around the house. I will always have a few. But I will take a weekend here or there and I will get to them too...compromise. The plane is for me, I accept that (see my earlier post). Don't neglect your family...your children may be picking out your nursing home some day. :eek:
 
Simple for me...

I just got a new wife :D

However, in all seriousness, the RV had absolutely nothing to do with it.

My wife now (married 3-years) helps me buck rivets, etc. However, with her not knowning ANYTHING about the cost of aircraft parts, most discussions about cost are kept to a minimum.
 
Wives and Flying

Hi Gang,

My husband forwarded this link to me. I find this thread extremely interesting. I want to share my thoughts on this subject.

My husband and I have been married for 16 + years. My husband is passionate about flying. I can see the passion flaming in his eyes when he speaks of flying and or building an airplane. Am I jealous? Since I don't share his passion, human nature being what it is, I have to say I am little jealous but I am not against his flying or building an airplane.

Here's why I'm not against his passion and I fully support it.

1. He's a good, kind, loving husband that deserves to have fun.
2. He works hard every day to support our family and provide the best for us.
3. If he's out in the garage building his beloved RV, he's not at the local watering hole staring at bare breasted women, bringing home venereal presents to me.
4. He can spend quality time (building and flying) with our youngest daughter who has inherited his passion for flying. She is 9 yrs. old and has approx. 55 hours of flight time.
5. I'd rather have our children and myself in an airplane he built and maintains than flying in a club plane that he has no control over the maintenance.
6. I can learn to rivet or whatever else building a plane entails. We can either grow together or grow apart. It's my choice in this situation. I choose to grow. Who knows, I might somewhere along the way find his passion for flight.
7. I look forward to when the kids are grown. We plan to fly around the country together.
8. His passion won't go away because I don't share it. Why should I deny him his passion?
9. Respect for who he is
10. I love him and as his wife I should support his passion as long as it isn't potentially hazardous to him or to anyone else. All you airplane guys out there know it's more dangerous to drive a car than fly.


So that's it in a nut shell. Okay, a big nut shell (I tend to run on and on) but nonetheless a nut shell that makes a for a happy marriage to my husband and his plane. I'll take it!

Sue
aka - Rivet Sue :)
 
Top 10

Where did you find the stats on firearms? I couldn't find that one...
Thanks,
Andy




aerial said:
For men and women who read the "Good Book" we know that divorce is only permited in the case of adultery. I think it's very important that you don't call her (your RV) your "mistress" or spend weekends and late nights with her away from home. :D

God can save your marriage and make it enjoyable at the same time. But let's look at some reasoning.

Top 10 Causes of Death
-----------------------
1)Major Cardiovasular Diseases
2)Malignant Neoplasms
3)Chronic Lower Resperitory Dis.
4)Diabetes Mellitus
5)Influenza and Pneumonia
6)Alzheimers
7)Motor Vehicle Accidents
8)Renal Failure
9)Septicemia
10)Firearms

Leading Causes of Accidental Death
---------------------------------
1)Motor Vehicle
2)Unspecified nontransport accid'ts
3)Falls
4)Poisoning and Noxious Subst's
5)Drowning
6)Exposure to Smoke, Fire, Flames
7)Other Land Transport Accidents
8)Complications of Med/Surg Care
9)Accidental Discharge of Firearms

Airplane accidents are not even on the map! If you wife does your grocery shopping and is not feeding you disease fighting foods then she is the #1..#2..and #3 contributor to your families premature death.
Click to expand...
 
Go to the top

At the Dick Cheney Fan club.

http://dickcheneyfanclub.com/ :D

But in all seriousness, I wasn't looking for firearm statistics. The things that will kill you are. Improper diet, lack of exercise, not drinking enough water, unregulated stress, polluted air, indulgent habits/addictions.

So a good cure includes a perscription heavy in general aviation and camping with a thankful heart. (Make sure your RV is not pumping CO into the cabin ;) )

I found the list at http://www.the-eggman.com/writings/death_stats.html (unverified).
 
Hummmm

Stats** on flying: General Aviation is decidedly (statistically) more dangerous than driving a Car. Obviously figures can lie and liars can figure, but small planes can be dangerous; It is hard to draw direct conclusions, but I have seen a few attempts at it. Per hour flown, GA is racking up more fatal accidents per population/miles/hours than planes. Stats are stats. It ain't bad, but GA can be better (we know that we can reduce flying risk greatly). I would not take the statistics approach per se', in convincing someone, a spouse, to fly because its not really true. I would emphasis the safety and things that you do to make it as safe as possible.

However the perception or precedence of the mates "safety mindedness" may have already been made in the spouses mind. Remember when you got lost driving the car and would not stop for directions? She may be thinking you will be stubborn and get, "got to get-home-itus.? The FAA knows this. There is a correlation between driving infractions, accidents, DWI's and the abilities if a pilot, statistically speaking. Dangerous (car) driver will not be as likely to become a safe pilot, automatically. So to be fair to some woman, may be they have a good reason for not flying with their husband? (had to be said, again).

Education, demonstration (of your competence) and patience. In time she may trust (your) flying.

**Stats include running out of gas, VFR pilot in IMC, poor currency, poor maintenance, reckless (low) flying to name a few. All are avoidable; thus you can improve your chances to be much better than a car. In a car you have the other drivers to worry about. In a plane you are more in control of your destiny, so to speak. However GA flying is not safer, it is more dangerous from the raw data. If you don't believe me talk to some life insurance salesman. GA pilot is a show stopper, "Oh your a pilot". :( It's a risk factor. We just have to be honest (with ourselves and loved ones). However we know it can be way safer than than diving a car, with the right approach; we know that, but than you don't have to convince me. Convince the better half the things you do to make it as safe as possible.

Marriage: Fact - 50% divorce rate. ( corrected 31%-41%, thanks kevinh) To the lady that wants her husband to have fun, good for you. I can tell you, I know friends and colleague's with wives that don't share your philosophy about their mates happiness. Not all woman understand. It makes no sense, money or safety wise, to them. If she will not fly, as I suggested, get extra life insurance and promises to make her a rich widow if "something happens." Who knows she may encourage you to fly more.

Some woman (some) don't understand the time/money involved in flying and never will. I was lucky, but I understand the wives who object. Frankly because it does not make sense in many ways, but if you love it, you love it. I don't understand 30 pairs of shoes and 40 pocket books either, but who am I to judge. :D

Bottom line is communication and compromise. Don't go unilateral. Get the sign off from the Boss. Time well spent. I can think of many reasons to convince the wife, like it's an asset that appreciates or you can use it to see the Grand kids. Get creative.

Cheers George

Cheney and "Good Book" comments both smack of quasi-political and religious comments. I don't care, but we should be sensitive to a few apolitical / secular folks who may be offended. :rolleyes:

PS: Thanks kevinh, I stand corrected, I need to call my future x-wife and tell her.

PSS: http://www.aopa.org/asf/publications/05nall.pdf ; Just a quick glance shows that time in type is very important, weather accident dominates most fatal accidents, of those VFR into IMC most common. No big news there. Strangely many accidents from "maneuvering", especially homebuilts, are high on the lethal list, such as hitting wires/objects or loosing control! In fact homebuilts have less WX related accidents than the GA pop but we do poorly on maneuvering? Why? A distant second to maneuvering is fuel management. Lesson learned don't fly VFR into IMC, don't loose control of your plane and have enough fuel in the tanks; If you add avoiding takeoff and landing accidents (landing most likely place for an accidents but not as lethal as takeoffs), you'll be very safe, from being a statistic.
click me, wounder whats in the "other" catagory?
 
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Good thread and good posts. One tangental comment (via the wisdom of wikipedia )

gmcjetpilot said:
Marriage: Fact - 50% divorce rate.
Click to expand...

from the wiki:
...
Nonetheless the claim that "half of all marriages end in divorce" became widely accepted in the US in the 1970s and has remained conventional wisdom. Pollster Louis Harris in his 1984 book "Inside America in 1984" wrote that "the idea that half of American marriages are doomed is one of the most specious pieces of statistical nonsense ever perpetuated in modern times."

To establish an actual divorce rate requires tracking and analyzing significant samples of actual marriages through decades, not an easy task. Recent US scholarship based on such longterm tracking, reported for example in the New York Times on April 19, 2005, has found that about 60 percent of all marriages that result in divorce do so in the first decade, and more than 80 percent do so within the first 20 years; that the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in the United States at about 41 percent around 1980 and has been slowly declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31 percent; and that while in the 1960s and 1970s there was little difference among socioeconomic groups in divorce rates, diverging trends appeared starting around 1980 (e.g. the rate of divorce among college graduates had by 2002 dropped to near 20 percent, roughly half that of non-college graduates).


gmcjetpilot said:
Cheney and "Good Book" comments both smack of quasi-political and religious statements. I don't care, but we should be sensitive to a few apolitical / secular folks who may be offended. :rolleyes:
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Well said. ;-)
 
Spouse and planes

This is a very intresting thread.
My frist wife was dead set againest my flying anything. Even RC models. I started to build a Pietenpoll. It was ok for the first 3 years. Then her parents got involved telling her I was wasting all that money. Now my second wife is totally different. She learned to rivet, drill holes in the skins and my finger all at the same time and was always there to help. Although she is not real fond of flying, any size airplane, she has gone on short flights with me. She is the first one to tell me to go and fly. She will come out to the airport and help with the everyday clean up. Of course I do ALL of the honey dues and always remember the important things. Birthday and the most important anniversary.
Now I hold a bit of a builders seminar at out chapter meeting thats open to anyone thinking of building any type of airplane We invite everyone to bring their spouse. We have a round table after a persention on the basic builders questions. We ALWAYS stress the familey and the finences. My wife is always there to answer questions from the wives that do attened.
Well, thats my story and I'm sticking to it
Rich
 
gmcjetpilot said:
Cheney and "Good Book" comments both smack of quasi-political and religious comments. I don't care, but we should be sensitive to a few apolitical / secular folks who may be offended. :rolleyes:
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No intention of offending anyone. The Cheney fan club link was a joke in relation to firearm accidents. If you are offended by one of your nations elected officials then you can take that to the box in the next election.

If someone is offended by the Good Book then maybe they should give up marriage alltogether (France tried in the 1700's). It's an institution created by the Author of the Good Book and it only makes sense if you want to maintain this institution that you go to the manual for instruction.

David
 
Not at all

aerial said:
No intention of offending anyone. The Cheney fan club link was a joke in relation to firearm accidents. If you are offended by one of your nations elected officials then you can take that to the box in the next election.

If someone is offended by the Good Book then maybe they should give up marriage altogether (France tried in the 1700's). It's an institution created by the Author of the Good Book and it only makes sense if you want to maintain this institution that you go to the manual for instruction.

David
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No offense taken here Sir. Actually my :rolleyes: was the clue. I get the shotgun, DickCheney'ed-it joke, funny. Just there are some folks that are sensitive, I know. Should have not mentioned it because I am guilty of not being PC or mentioning "stuff" people don't want to hear sometimes. :D Cheers George (PS France and most of Europe long ago became secular till today, Doha! there I go again.)
 
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aerial said:
If someone is offended by the Good Book then maybe they should give up marriage alltogether (France tried in the 1700's). It's an institution created by the Author of the Good Book and it only makes sense if you want to maintain this institution that you go to the manual for instruction.
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Mentions of the 'good book' don't offend me, however this is not a true statement (at least based on when the books were published). Numerous cultures had marriage before even early versions of the old testament were created.
(one example) another

;)
 
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