Bryan Wood
Well Known Member
I came accross this throw back article that had been posted online and thought some of you might find it enlightening. Times have changed a lot since 1973 when it was written, but apparently the struggle to convince a reluctant wife of the need for an airplane is timeless. I read it aloud to my wonderful bride and when I finished reading and looked to her for her opinion the expression she had made my blood run cold.
"New Mexico Flying Review" of July, 1973."
"On Assuring the Compatibility of Aircraft Ownership & Marriage"
The elegant curves of her voluptuous body that so inflamed your passion were almost in contradiction to her pretty face that was, somehow, sweet and innocent. Unable to resist her allure, and being a gentleman to boot, you married her, thus spawning a need for the wisdom contained herein.
Incredible as it may seem, there are pockets of ignorance in this enlightened country of ours, where, in spite of the obvious and profuse evidence to the contrary, some doubt exists in the hearts of a few individuals as to the desirability of adding an airplane to the family?s transportation stable. Moreover, whereas there appears to be no discrnible geographic concentration of these emotionally deprived individuals, an in-depth statistical survey will reveal that this peculiar form of mental illness most commonly afflicts wives. More specifically, and tragically, pilots?wives.
While a complete analysis of this irrational mental tendancy is beyond the scope of this paper, some suggestions as to how to deal with this form of insanity are offered. One is cautioned not to expect to effect an easy quick cure. Above all, do not be disappointed when the subject fails to respond to the logic and common sense of your arguments; after all, if the patient were amenable to logic, then she wouldn?t be suffering from the ailment in the first place! Indeed, it has been suggested by one observer that if logic were her forte, she wouldn?t be a woman.
Women, being physical, emotional creatures, require a physical, emotional approach to aircraft ownership. She may complain of airsickness. Of course, we know it?s all in her head. Telling her this, however, only serves to increase, not decrease, her emotional stubbornness. When confronted in flight with a woozy wife?s demand for the sick sack, the unthinking pilot will merely hand it to her. The concerned pilot, however, dedicated to the restoration of his wife?s mental health, will realize that bold ambition requires bold action and will immediately throw the airplane into a six turn spin. This maneuver, when sufficiently violently executed, effectively gets the poor woman?s mind off her stomach while she (mistakenly, of course) contemplates with all her faculty her impending doom. At the conclusion of the maneuver there is, of course, the somewhat unpleasant side-effect of her anger enthusiastically deployed upon you. Do not concern yourself with these little outbursts of petty emotionalism. Merely smile wanly and say: ?Why darling, I was so concerned at your discomfort, my attention to flying lapsed and the plane got away from me there for a minute.? This will serve to assure her of your concern for her and probably make her think twice next time before complaining of her imaginary ailments while you are flying.
The oft-heard complaint ?but we can?t afford it,? is, of course, blatant rationalization and, I would remind you, not subject to alteration through logic. Do not expect her to be swayed by your compelling arguments regarding the popularity in today?s society of the wife embarking on her own career in addition to her pleasant little duties around the house thus contributing to the family coffer; or the efficacy with which one may circumvent today?s child labor laws, thereby enriching your child?s life through responsibility-development while simultaneously providing funds for maintenance of the airplane. No, she is a physical, emotional creature, so let her develop a physical, emotional relationship to the airplane. Don?t force a relationship that spawns confusion by encouraging her to learn to fly, rather emphasize her tactile awareness by letting her wipe the oil from the engine and by washing the entire craft. Assign her the privilege of keeping the interior vacuumed and clean. This will give her the benefit of relating to the airplane in a way with which she is familiar as she notes the similarity to her happy little chores at home. Eventually, her enthusiasm for flying will rival yours and you both will live and fly happily ever after.
Best,
"New Mexico Flying Review" of July, 1973."
"On Assuring the Compatibility of Aircraft Ownership & Marriage"
The elegant curves of her voluptuous body that so inflamed your passion were almost in contradiction to her pretty face that was, somehow, sweet and innocent. Unable to resist her allure, and being a gentleman to boot, you married her, thus spawning a need for the wisdom contained herein.
Incredible as it may seem, there are pockets of ignorance in this enlightened country of ours, where, in spite of the obvious and profuse evidence to the contrary, some doubt exists in the hearts of a few individuals as to the desirability of adding an airplane to the family?s transportation stable. Moreover, whereas there appears to be no discrnible geographic concentration of these emotionally deprived individuals, an in-depth statistical survey will reveal that this peculiar form of mental illness most commonly afflicts wives. More specifically, and tragically, pilots?wives.
While a complete analysis of this irrational mental tendancy is beyond the scope of this paper, some suggestions as to how to deal with this form of insanity are offered. One is cautioned not to expect to effect an easy quick cure. Above all, do not be disappointed when the subject fails to respond to the logic and common sense of your arguments; after all, if the patient were amenable to logic, then she wouldn?t be suffering from the ailment in the first place! Indeed, it has been suggested by one observer that if logic were her forte, she wouldn?t be a woman.
Women, being physical, emotional creatures, require a physical, emotional approach to aircraft ownership. She may complain of airsickness. Of course, we know it?s all in her head. Telling her this, however, only serves to increase, not decrease, her emotional stubbornness. When confronted in flight with a woozy wife?s demand for the sick sack, the unthinking pilot will merely hand it to her. The concerned pilot, however, dedicated to the restoration of his wife?s mental health, will realize that bold ambition requires bold action and will immediately throw the airplane into a six turn spin. This maneuver, when sufficiently violently executed, effectively gets the poor woman?s mind off her stomach while she (mistakenly, of course) contemplates with all her faculty her impending doom. At the conclusion of the maneuver there is, of course, the somewhat unpleasant side-effect of her anger enthusiastically deployed upon you. Do not concern yourself with these little outbursts of petty emotionalism. Merely smile wanly and say: ?Why darling, I was so concerned at your discomfort, my attention to flying lapsed and the plane got away from me there for a minute.? This will serve to assure her of your concern for her and probably make her think twice next time before complaining of her imaginary ailments while you are flying.
The oft-heard complaint ?but we can?t afford it,? is, of course, blatant rationalization and, I would remind you, not subject to alteration through logic. Do not expect her to be swayed by your compelling arguments regarding the popularity in today?s society of the wife embarking on her own career in addition to her pleasant little duties around the house thus contributing to the family coffer; or the efficacy with which one may circumvent today?s child labor laws, thereby enriching your child?s life through responsibility-development while simultaneously providing funds for maintenance of the airplane. No, she is a physical, emotional creature, so let her develop a physical, emotional relationship to the airplane. Don?t force a relationship that spawns confusion by encouraging her to learn to fly, rather emphasize her tactile awareness by letting her wipe the oil from the engine and by washing the entire craft. Assign her the privilege of keeping the interior vacuumed and clean. This will give her the benefit of relating to the airplane in a way with which she is familiar as she notes the similarity to her happy little chores at home. Eventually, her enthusiasm for flying will rival yours and you both will live and fly happily ever after.
Best,
