The answer from Icom
...for the 50+ people that read the thread (and everyone else that is interested).....
I got a reply from Icom about which one of the out going pins I should connect
the 403 to. They said:
Flightcom 403 ICOM A210
transmit keyline Pin 9 PTT
receive audio Pin H Headphone Jack
transmit audio Pin J Microphone 1
ground Pin 8 grd - for audio and PTT
That was a big help and I understand what I need to do.