Brian,
I have followed your project and comments, and I have to point something out.
You sent an RFQ to 25 different Vendors. For what $50K worth of materials?
Many businesses who implement complex solutions simply do not respond to the RFP/RFQ from a new customer. Of course there are exceptions, like DOD, and other large government contracts. But if their first contact is a process, which shows that you regard the shops as replaceable, the product as a comodity, and seem to be basing the decision merely on price....
Well, the high value shops, who charge more because they add expertise, advice, and so forth will not respond. You shouldn't take it personally. You identified yourself as a price buyer, through the process you used. So there is really no insult in the fact that shops which view themselves as offering value did not want to respond.
The other aspect of it is that your RFQ turns them into simply box resellers. Nontheless, if you bcame a customer they would no doubt have to support the configuration YOU chose, and forced them to quote. This puts shops in the position of maximising their support probability, with minimum apparent opportunity to have input in the solution. Again, there are shops that will simply sling you the boxes you ask for, but why be insulted that other shops choose a business model which is incompatible with your buying process?
I remember that when I worked for a very large technology business, we simply could not afford to do business that way. The new customer, who simply wanted a quote on their configuration was always trouble down the road because margins were slim, their design was often flawed, and we had no ongoing relationship. Other customers saw us as a source of expertise and advice, and we designed systems collaboratively. They paid a little more for it.
Chelton has a value added reseller network, but I bet that most of those shops will also not respond to an RFP/RFQ. There are just too many variables, too much opportunity to have to support a sub-optimal configuration later.
The avionics shops you call losers are regarded by the industry as some of the best in the country, turning out well integrated systems with excellent workmanship. Can you imagine ANY way you may have benefitted from a collaborative relationship with one of them?
Personally, my experience has been great with many of the companies you mention, even though I ended up not making the high dollar purchase. I did learn alot from them.