Ron, you are showing great restraint, you know that there is more to the story not to mention several old pilot lounge jokes. Never mind...
John Clark
RV8 N18U "Sunshine"
KSBA
Long time ago, I had to fly with a guy whose own plane (Warrior) was in for maintenance, so he rented a Grumman Tiger from our FBO. He was small in stature, but made up for it in embellishments. He was wearing a leather flight jacket marked Confederate Air Force and covered with squadron patches, "Colonel's" insignia name tags, etc. He had a huge "Pilot's" watch that could have probably held a small mess-kit inside its housing. He knew everything, and grumbled that our insurance required me to be along on his trip. He wanted me to just sit quietly in the right seat and offer no advice or assistance, please.
I watched as he attempted several times to start the Tiger's engine. He finally asked me what was wrong with the plane, so I offered him the checklist which he glanced at, and then continued cranking the engine. I finally decided to push in the mixture knob while we still had some battery left, and the engine roared to life. He complained that the Tiger's push-pull knobs were not the same as the quadrant controls on his Piper.
We were cleared to take-off and fly runway heading. Immediately after take-off, he began fiddling with stuff inside the plane, so I kept watch outside. As we were climbing, he managed to make a shallow banked left turn, and after 270 degrees of heading change, I finally asked him where he was going. He curtly replied, "Runway heading"! I still think it was the weight of his pilot's watch that caused us to fly in left circles!
We were flying VFR (thankfully) from an airport in Rhode Island to the Philadelphia area, pretty much following the coastline. He finally leveled at 5000' and set-up for cruise. I finally mentioned something about flying at VFR altitudes appropriate to the direction of flight. He said that only applied when you are flying above 3000' AGL. I asked if he knew what the elevation was of the terrain he was flying over; he didn't and started looking at charts to try to find a clue. I offered that since we were flying the coastline, that might tell him something. He continued along at 5000' MSL, until I strongly suggested he try 4500', and that I would talk with NY when we got near the TCA.
After we got back, he complained to management that I hadn't been much help, and that he should be allowed to fly solo from now on.
It was a spiffy looking watch, though!