The worst passenger?

[Bryan Wood]

Somewhat recently I gave somebody a ride in my RV and frankly still haven't recovered from it yet. All the signs were there prior to even climbing into the airplane, but we got in anyway and took off. Here is a rough accounting of how the trip went.

We met at the airport and he followed me through the gate and to my hanger. After getting out of his car he commented that my car desperately needed a bath, and as he put his finger on a dime sized dent on the back quarter panel and looking at it closely he said, "At least it's in good shape." Whoa, what is this about? The hanger door isn't even open and two insults have been shared from my passenger. After opening the hanger door he did a thorough walk around of my hanger mates plane and shared any visable flaws, as if it is my responsability to have them corrected. This plane is a 172 that never flys and is a 2nd airplane for the owner who also flys a 210. Maybe the plane isn't a trophy winner, but... At this point the walk around of my RV began. He ran his picky little index finger over rivets, screw heads, and anything else he could find as if he were judging for a Lindy at Oshkosh or something. At one point he made it to a screw head that has some paint coming off and turned to me and said, "I hope that the painter gave you some extra paint." Whoa, stop everything. I told him that I didn't invite him to the airport to point out flaws and that it was coming accross very rude. Un-phased by this he showed no sign of any discomfort and told me that he had frozen some bottles of water and had wet wash clothes in zip lock bags so that we could cool down and wipe our faces down. I was speechless!

After showing him how to wear the seat belts his inspection recommenced, only this time on the inside of the plane. His hand went up to the glareshield and he picked up a short white hair left there by my dog Charlie. He picked it up and wrinkled his nose and set it free outside of the plane. Next his attention went to the headset and he looked into the ear cups and was able to find a hair in there also! He reached in with his thumb and index finger and removed the hair and this time he had a look of pain and disgust on his face. At this point I was about to blow. Okay, I've got to get this under control because I've known this person a long time and we just don't need to have a problem here.

Clear... As the engine is coming to life he puts an earplug in front of my face with a look of revulsion on his face. What am I supposed to do about that, and what is it doing right in front of my face? I told him that my wife tried them in my dogs ears and one must have fell out and onto the floor. His look of revulsion turned to one of stark terror and he flicked it outside of the plane. Before I could get through the entire ATIS he was pointing out that the EGT gauge was not showing a reading. I told him that it will and to let me hear the radio so that we could get out of there. During taxi he asked which of my radios had broken, because a few weeks ago my Garmin had a power switch problem that he had heard me mention to somebody at work. I pointed to the radio in question and he asked if I felt comfortable flying with something like this. I told him yes, and again, I need to concentrate so we can get out of here.

Once we were in the air for a few minutes he asked a question about a landmark and I decided to show him on the chart. I told him that he should look for traffic while I look at the chart and then I engaged the autopilot. Now with the the EZ pilot flying us and no hands on the stick I began to open the chart and find what he had asked about. Suddenly the auto pilot felt wrong and I looked up and we were in about a 15 degree turn. Holy @$#*, this guy has grabbed the stick and is over powering the autopilot and turning us off course. I barked, "What are you doing" and he gave the plane back to me. I told him the autopilot had the plane and not to ever do anything like that again. Now we were both a little miffed, and I was asking myself why I didn't back out of this ride back at the car needs a bath comment. True to the direction of the days events, he started telling about when he went for a ride with another mutual friend. He told me that he sat and planned out everything. He told me how he drew lines on his charts, wrote down all of the frequencies for approach and center, and how he had filed a flight plan. He mentioned how nice it was to fly with somebody that took so much time preparing for a flight. What the *$^@ is this guy trying to say? I told him that I didn't know what he was trying to say, or imply, but we were only going 40 miles to a place that I fly all the time for gas. We had two GPS's tracking our trip, and landmarks that make it idiot proof. He said that our other friend always uses flight following and looked at me like I was doing something terribly wrong by not doing the same. Okay, around this point I just resigned myself to getting thru this and learning from it. Between him switching the fuel guage to check each tanks remaining amount, and asking when I was going to switch tanks, and telling me the frequency for Unicom at the destination, which was wrong, and sitting forward with his hands clinched to the glareshild overhang I was struggling to not get really mad at this guy. I had to tell him to not touch anything on the panel, and that we had plenty of fuel, etc... Okay, where's the camera because we must be on TV right? Anyway, the rest of the short trip was much like all of the things mentioned already. When we landed he took out the wet wash cloths and handed me one. Ya know, when he first mentioned these back at the hanger I chuckled to myself. Little did I know the genious in packing these cool, damp clothes because I desperately needed it now! The last thing I remember before hitting the isolate switch on the audio panel was him pointing out that the outside air temp guage couldn't be right. The plane had sat out in the sun baking for a couple of hours and as soon as the radio master was switched to on the temp guage showed 108F. He said "Do you really think it is 108 outside or is this this broken also?" Well, I pointed to something outside on his side of the plane and when he turned to look I flipped the switch on the audio panel that isolates him from me. After everything that was wrong it didn't take much to convince him that the radio was acting up again and I rode home in relative peace.

My friend is not a licensed pilot, but he does have hundreds, if not thousands of hours with Microsoft Flight Sim. Thank you Bill Gates!

Blue Skies,

[AntiGravity]

I wouldn't care if it was the Queen of England (and, yes, I'm English); wouldn't have made it out of the hanger... You obviously have way more tolerance than I. And I have to say, the next thing that happens after a passenger grabs the controls is the fastest landing you ever saw followed by "<go away>, and don't come back".

[txaviator]

I read your post with total disbelief! 'Friend' or no friend, I would have ended the flight WAAAAY before you did. On second thought? I know these RV's are NOT intended for open canopy flight, but I would have seriously considered trying it while I tossed this joker out

There's one like this in every crowd. I see it all the time. I try my hardest to shrug it off, but in all reality? There are two potential passengers (for every one of him) that would LOVE flying with you, and would relish the moment....without a bunch of criticism and other BS along the way.

My hat is off to you, for sticking through this entire flight (even before 'clear prop'). !

BTW, how did the screw hold up during the flight, that needed a little touch up paint? This guy is....as we say here in Texas....one sandwich short of a picnic.

Thanks for sharing!

[rv8ch]

I thought this would end up as a "candid camera" episode. Pretty scary. Another example of where it is best to trust your instincts when they are whispering to you. Many 8 drivers remove the rear stick for exactly this type of passenger.

[N258RE]

wow, I would have done aileron rolls the entire 40 miles

[fodrv7]

Your 'friend' with MS Simulator, he wouldn't be jealous of your RV and your achievement?
Pete.

[pierre smith]

My former boss taught basic in a T-6 after WW11 and once had a picky Arab-type student who couldn't find his butt with both hands. He became so p-o'd once that he snatched the stick into immediate snap rolls, immelmans and loops and whatever else he could think of until the guy started puking his brains out!

He landed shortly thereafter and pointed to the water hose and suggested that after he washed out the airplane, he find a different course to steer,

[painless]

After his first comments in the hangar, I think I would have been tempted to say "Now what are all these switches and Knobs for?" once you got in the airplane. Or maybe something like, "Boy, I picked a bad day to quit taking amphetamines...."


Regards,

[joe gremlin]

The guy sounds like he may have been nervous and he definately sounds like he has OCD. I'd bet he has very few friends. From the way you described it though, I think I would've missed the early warning signes the same as you. I might have turned around about the time of the stick grab/the other guy is more careful incident simply because by that point I would've realized that once this guys gets out of the plane I'm never letting him in again.

I wouldn't blame flight sim though. I'd blame untreated OCD and a complete lack of social skills.

[Rick6a]

Originally Posted by Bryan Wood

Somewhat recently I gave somebody a ride in my RV and frankly still haven't recovered from it yet.............

Bryan,

If I've learned anything after giving countless first flights in 1200 or so hours, you really cannot predict with certainty how non-pilots will behave when removed from their familiar element. Your recent passenger sounds like a world class jerk. I'm guessing that deep inside, this guy was really nervous and dealt with that fear in his own obnoxious way by attempting to take charge of a situation way out of his direct control.

Like it or not, you learned something from the experience. Call it "seasoning."
Thanks for sharing.