Jokes

[walter]

Though this has been around the 'net a few times, it's still funny...

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "squawk sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the squawk sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[Bryan Wood]

I was talking with a local Lancair pilot who happens to share his hanger with a Glassair II and I asked him if he ever wished he had gotten a Glassair instead. He said he did get one. "It's the crate that the Lancair came in."
Ouch!

Blue Skies,

[fodrv7]

I did see in the logbook, Ansett not Qantas:
"Very large cockroach seen in forward galley."
"Very large cockroach found, weighed and found to be within limits."

True.

Pete.

[osxuser]

Originally Posted by Bryan Wood

I was talking with a local Lancair pilot who happens to share his hanger with a Glassair II and I asked him if he ever wished he had gotten a Glassair instead. He said he did get one. "It's the crate that the Lancair came in."
Ouch!

Blue Skies,

Ouch indeed, especially considering the only thing the lancair has going for it is looks, and a touch more speed. The Glasair is a much stronger airplane...