Did you look closely at the relay, see if there are any markings on the shell near each of the terminals??
If it is the one I think it is, you may find one little stud has a S and the other has an I.
Ground the S-----ignore the I
One big stud should have a B--------it will be the one closest to the little one marked S. Battery goes to it.
You can also test things out with an ohm meter.
Got a photo of the relay ----or part number--- might make it simpler to diagnose.
Maybe it is this one??
If so, here is the info from the Spruce site.
http://www.aircraft-spruce.com/catal...-03162spec.pdf
__________________
Mike Starkey
VAF 909
Rv-10, N210LM.
Flying as of 12/4/2010
Phase 1 done, 2/4/2011

Sold after 240+ wonderful hours of flight.
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."