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My wife was wondering how other ladies felt about flying in these homebuilt aircraft

wings05rv6a

Active Member
Hello ;
My wife and I were just laying in bed and talking about the airplane that we just finished. I have been flying my 40 hours off and want my wife, to be part off all the SMILE but I really do not know what to expect.
I have big plans with trips to the Bahamas, and Mexico.

My question is how do I handle this.?
My best friend has had some bad experiences over Mt Whitney and is cool to the thought off flying long distances.

Know I know that some of my friends had similar issues, how can I help her overcome these obstacles.
Any advice would help.

Thanks
Bob Wieczorek
RV6a slow Built 36 Hrs and counting
 
Some tips: Your enthusiasm may well over ride common sense. I have seen countless introduction flights that resulted in a newcomer never flying with joy again. Though... they may fly.
1. Go very early in the day.
2. Wait for the calmest day you can.
3. Make it short....
4. Gentle banks
5. Do NOT offer to let them try it....
6. Follow with flowers, candy... sex. Or, just a nice walk.
Repeat all of the above.
Repeat again.....
Offer to wash the dishes....

If you are very fortunate... you will have a life long flying partner.
(PS if any nausea results... stop.... ask a pharmacist about Meclezine.
over the counter... no drowsiness..... kills motion sickness very effectively)
Best of luck by the way.
 
my wife enjoys taking care of the logistics during flight, writing down start times, radio frequencies, finding fuel with a restaurant, filling in the flight log book...it helps her to have a job that contributes towards our trip's safety. we have had x/c days where it was too turbulent to fly pleasantly and they ended before noon. my wife surprised me once by agreeing to sleep on a sofa in the FBO lobby when there wasn't a motel room to be found in WY. it's always an adventure with the right attitude. hopefully your wife will want to find out what adventures awaits her.
 
I too, have a spouse that fully supports my airplane obsession, but yet is a little "cool" to the idea of flying with me.

Its totally my fault. I took her flying years ago in the Navy flying club's T-34B. The trip out to the quaint little coastal town was pleasant enough. But, full of lunch, and with the warm sun beating down through the canopy, my young bride got a bit airsick. I didn't do anything abrupt. And, I apologized profusely. But, that was pretty much it for her.

She has said that she would fly with me again. But, has yet to follow through. If she ever does. You can believe it'll be smooth air, early in the day. And, I'll be on my best behavior.
 
Do not do ANYTHING that will make her sick or scared. My wife has been flying with me for 30+ years. Recently we were up in a Citabria. I asked her if she wanted to see a spin. She she yes but I could tell she was concerned. I told her exactly what to expect. I then did a two turn spin. It was quiet for about 10 seconds and I asked her if she was ok.... Got the thumbs up. I asked her if she wanted to do another,... And she said yes...... I said no, maybe next time.
Know when to hold Em and know when to fold Em.
 
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My wife became incredibly enthusiastic when I flew her to the coast of South Carolina in 35 minutes. She had been driving the trip in 2 hours and 45 minutes!

Take her to a place she really looks forward to, for lunch or an overnight and remind her of the shortness of the trip, compared to driving.

Best,
 
Offer to fly her to visit her mother or if that won't work try sister,son or someplace she really wants to go and include a nice lunch in the trip. She will be amazed at the speed and ease of a 200-300 ml trip compared to driving.
 
Years ago, when we were stuck in a traffic jam from **** on the south side of DC during a trip to take our son to college, my wife said "You need to finish your license". Obviously, the day we returned I was at the airport.

As you would expect, early flying was local sightseeing but since I grew up flying with my dad, cross country was never intimidating. I quickly moved to the level of trips that primarily benefited her such as visiting relatives.

It did not take but a few years for her to get tired of flying 40 year old rental junkers with poorly maintained interiors. The question came "Should we get our own plane"? I'll tell you, that was something I had been waiting/planning for since I was a kid. I explained about homebuilts and then the construction journey started.

So, in my case, when it came to flying the RV, my wife was already a flyer, however I have learned the RV experience is different. One, we fly a lot more. Two, having a hangar and being at it has invited a lot of interplay with other pilots that never occurred as a rental driver. My wife has made friends with other ladies, some of which are pilots with their own craft.

At dinner yesterday, I reminisced about a group of friends from the DC area that rode antique BMWs like mine. She said "That was an odd group of people". I replied " And our current pilot friends are different?" A smile and "No" was the reply. :)
 
My wifes been flying with me for years but when I mentioned building an RV she wasnt to keen on the idea. She warmed up when I told her the 5 hr drive to see the grandkids would be an 1.25 hr flight! Of coarse she still dont understand why I didnt just buy a flying RV.
 
My wife started to fly with me in a C172 but hated it at first. Gradually got better. Most our trips were to see the grandson and she saw the benefit to a 2.5 hour flight rather than a 6 hour drive. She gradually got better and now really enjoys a scenic flight or a nice destination. Oh and she likes the RV-9 much better than the C172. Better sight, faster and the seat is more comfortable. The other guys have also given very good suggestions.
 
Agree!

My wife became incredibly enthusiastic when I flew her to the coast of South Carolina......Take her to a place she really looks forward to, for lunch or an overnight and remind her of the shortness of the trip, compared to driving.

I strongly agree! We have made trips to see a daughter in Buffalo and gone to the beach at Ocracoke (W95) which she loves!!!! I don't care where i fly...as long as i fly.....so its a win win. On days where i know it will not be comfortable for her and may lead to a "bad experience" i have no problem putting it off till another day:)
 
Lots of good suggestions posted above. Like many others, my wife is not naturally comfortable in airplanes, home-built or otherwise. Our first flight in our home-built was a sunset flight. Air was dead calm. Bank angles were limited to no more than 10 degrees. I flew with two hands on the stick to ensure the absolute smoothest ride, keeping the setting sun on her side of the airplane. As soon as the sun set we turned around and came home for what was one of my better landings.

First impressions are very important - you have to plan for success.

Now for some of the rest of the story. My wife loves seeing the very light moss green color as the trees start to leaf out, and she loves seeing the fall colors. Our last fall color flight last year was a bit of a letdown as the colors weren't particularly vivid and were very short-lived. But my wife was game to go, so up we went. We were rewarded with a few really beautiful trees, one of which my wife pointed out and said "turn around, you've got to see that one." Of course it was on her side of the plane so I responded with "which one". She pointed down and told me that if I turned tight I could see it. Well, here goes... I cranked in LOTS of bank angle and was doubly rewarded, first with the sight of a blazing red maple tree, and second with the realization that my wife had graduated well beyond the "gentle bank" turns. The rest of the flight was spent spotting and circling the trees with the brightest colors. When we landed after dark (a total greaser - I'm allowed one on the rarest of occasions when I have a witness aboard) I mentioned that we had really flown well beyond what I though were her limitations. She just grinned and said "I'm getting used to this flying stuff." Yeah, that was a very good day!
 
I have walked two no-flying wives through this process. The key is to understand they (in most cases) they don't love the flying part like you do. They like the transport part. You need to start with a very short hop for breakfast, lunch, or maybe a hike. Keep it 20 to 30 minutes max and on a perfect day. Keep her busy the whole time by explaining what you are doing and why. You will be on the ground before she knows what happened and that is when you casually discuss how you are now 1-1/2 hours drive away from where you started. She will do the math. Over breakfast you can work into the conversation about all of the cool places you want to explore that are less then an hour's flight away. You may even want to have another 20 minute hop in mind to go see XYZ after breakfast if you want... just make sure the return home is not then a 40 min flight.
Once back home tell her how much you enjoyed flying with her and how fun it was to go to place A and B - all before noon! Then let it grow from there.
Other tips:
-A CD radio in the plane helps a bunch.
-No sight seeing in the plane ! Wives don't like circling or trying to spot your house out the window.
-Fly as smooth as possible, and don't even suggest that she would like to do a loop or roll some day.
-Explain every single thing you are doing and explain ahead of time that when you get into the traffic pattern or are listening to the ATIS that you are going to have to focus, so tell her nicely when it is time for her to stop talking.
-Find a friend with a flying wife and plan some short trips together.
-Fly her flight plan; meaning if she wants to go lower, go lower or explain why you cant. If she has to pee, land. If it is turbulent, slow way down.
-When I see something coming, I tell my wife way ahead of time: "See those clouds? That is a front, which means we are going to hit some turbulence as we pass through it. I will slow down when we get there, but you don't need to worry and it will only last a minute or two".

My wife is terrified of heights, but loves planning our flying trips every other weekend. She just called as I was typing this to tell me that Ken and Felicia want to fly somewhere this weekend. Those 20 minute hops have morphed into 3 hour trips on a regular basis, and she is now looking at places 6+ hours away. That has been a three year process, so don't expect one flight to make her fall in love with flying (though it might).
 
I guess I was lucky. My wife drove or bucked a third of the rivets in our RV and when it was finished, she couldn't wait to go for a ride.

That said, the first ride was only 15 minutes across Charlotte to Long Island Airpark to visit some friends. The next weekend was our anniversary so we took it to Myrtle Beach for lunch and a walk on the beach. 45 minute flight vs. a four or five hour drive, she was all over it.

Since then, we have taken the plane all over the place but her favorite destination is the 1:20 minute flight over the mountains to Chattanooga to visit her parents.

Now that our son no longer fits in the baggage compartment, she doesn't get to ride very much because the mini-me is in the right seat and she misses it.
 
Relief Band

For those who have an issue with nausea we found that the ReliefBand worked for our son who was always air sick.

Whether the effect was real or just placebo effect we never determined, but the end result was that the nausea went away.

Worth a try...

http://www.aeromedix.com/
 
I took my wife to lunch at Beaumont Hotel (07S) on a cool Saturday morning when the air was nice and smooth. It was nice showing her how we could make a two hour car trip in less than an hour. She really enjoyed being able to taxi right up to the restaurant.

She's been bugging me for a trip to Eau Claire, WI to visit our son ever since.

I've never been to Harris Ranch (3O8) but it looks like a great place for lunch if you can avoid the Lemoore traffic.


Dave
RV6
 
Getting a chance to fly over the SF Bay Area holiday traffic on July 4th on the way to Tahoe made my wife a convert long before we started flying.

A great destination trip is always a good way to make the trip more goal oriented. My wife is now also a pilot but still suffers from motion sickness and uses the simple pressure wrist bands you can get from a pharmacy. They work magic for her.
 
Lots of good suggestions already---------basically do something SHE wants to do. Do it gently and above all else, dont so anything that would scare her.

I would add, once you figure out where to take her, take a recon flight there by yourself, so there will not be any surprises when you have her along.

Nervous passengers really do not like surprises when flying.
 
Lots of good advice has been offered. Here's a few things that sure made my non-aviation-enthusiast spouse really like the transportation aspect of flying.

1. The first trip in the RV for her was Thanksgiving weekend. That was dumb luck, as was our tailwind. She looked down on I-95 just south of Richmond, VA to see southbound traffic at a near stand still. She asked how fast we were going and I said 160 knots...or a bit better than 190 mph. That 4.5 hour trip w/o traffic was just over an hour and the fuel cost less than driving.

2. Short hops to get lunch at interesting places like Tangier Island in the middle of the Chesapeake bay (15-20 minutes away), or Okracoke Island 1 hour 20 minutes away.

3. She loves the beach and oceans a lot, the mountains only a little less. I plan trips to take her where she likes to go. Taking the dog is something she likes to do too.
 
Regarding the "bad experiences over Mt Whitney," if your flight is anywhere near mountainous terrain, learn enough about mountain flying to be able to predict what the conditions are going to be. You don't have to be an expert... knowing the basics really helps.

Also make sure that your preflight briefing includes turbulence.

Dave
 
Lots of good advice, but that is not how I did it. No, not at all. We started dating while I was working on my commercial rating, so I took her up on a hot day and showed her lazy-8s, chandelles and accelerated stalls. Did I mention we were over the mountains were she grew up? The results were predictable; she was one sick cookie. But her response blew me away. Before we were off the field she had decided to take lessons; quickly getting her commercial and instrument ratings. Eventually worked her way up to flying my Pitts, although she hated the landings. None of this came as any great surprise, as when we met she had a souped up jeep, had built her own kayak and raced motocross. Gotta love those Colorado girls!

We just celebrated our 39th anniversary. Am I a lucky dog, or what?

Jim Berry
RV-10
 
I'm lucky

My wife likes to fly, but there are a few things she doesn't like much as :
  • high positive and negative g's
  • flying on top (she'd rather fly in turbulence than in smooth air on top)
  • not understanding what's going on around us : navigation, scenery, ATC...
So I try to avoid what she does not like and get her involved.

She's very good at spotting traffic, I explain where we are, where we're heading, what's to be avoided (Class A, B,danger and restricted areas) whom I'm speaking to.....
She's also the camerawoman, I try to fly by worthwhile spots so that she can take the picture.


About 20mn into our last flight she surprised me by saying she was ready to perform the barrel roll I had done a few weeks ago with some other passengers. We did one and she was quite surprised at the lack of physical sensations (g's) during the maneuver.


I'm always amazed as to what bothers my passengers, which is very different from what bothers me. I let them know, even before boarding that they should ask questions, that I'd stop the flight any time they ask (even to the point of not taking of, which happened once).

One of the most made comment about flying the RV by non-pilot passengers is : I thought a self-built plane would vibrate, I would be shaken in my seat and the engine would make strange noises throughout the flight. Getting off the plane they had the same RV-grin as pilot passengers, even a bit wider as some had overcome some inner fear.


My RV has just passed the 100h mark, my passenger count is 31.
 
DINNER TRIPS!
-- Followed by day trips to the beach/ points-of-interest
--- Followed by longer trips (Key West for us)
---- Now, she's more ambitious than I am! ;-)

NO ACRO... At first
 
Bonine

VFR on top is like magic if you can get up and down without breaking any rules. The cool smooth air at higher altitudes is better. Bonine is great this time of year if she's the least bit likely to get motion sick. John
 
I've seen lots of threads like this, and often wondered, "Why have this specific discussion? is the wife any more likely to get airsick than anyone else?"

Then, over the weekend, I read something that kinda answered that, maybe.

It's arisen from the computer gaming community, which has developed a product called the Oculus Rift (recently acquired by Facebook).

The Oculus Rift is a head-mounted display, like a pair of oversized goggles with a computer display in front of each eye, and a sensor pack to track your head movement. If your computer sends left-eye and right-eye views, the effect is an incredibly immersive 360 degree 3-d experience. Give it a try if you ever get the opportunity, it's just outstanding.

It turns out that the Oculus Rift gives a significant number of women (and hardly any men) motion sickness. That's inspired someone involved in virtual reality research to investigate why; here's an article describing the (inconclusive) result.

tl;dr: The surface of the retina is different between (some) males and (some) females, in a way which affects the manner in which motion is perceived, which seems to exacerbate the effects of motion sickness among women.

So perhaps that's why I can fly with dozens of first-timer men in the passenger seat and never make any of them ill, and why there's so much concern in these forums about flying very gently and gingerly with women. More research required.

I thought it was interesting, anyway. Food for thought.

- mark
 
I've seen lots of threads like this, and often wondered, "Why have this specific discussion? is the wife any more likely to get airsick than anyone else?"

...The surface of the retina is different between (some) males and (some) females, in a way which affects the manner in which motion is perceived, which seems to exacerbate the effects of motion sickness among women...

I think the answer is even simpler than that. It has to do with the fact that the majority of us grew up in a time when girls played with Barbies and boys played toy airplanes and toy guns. Not all, but most women (maybe 51% :D) view our obsession with building our own airplane as "a guy thing".
 
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Mark, are you single? Your research might lead you to fly with women... and not have them barf. Then, life with an RV is even more fun. It rounds out the experience in a nice way.
 
Bonine

My wife has no fear about flying. At 57 she asked for sky diving lessons for Christmas and even after getting her lines twisted on her first freefall wanted to continue. She does get a little icky feeling on a hot bumpy day though and Bonine before takeoff works like a charm.

I've had that sea sick feeling myself on occasion. What gets me is unusual attitude training on a hot day... something about looking down and closing your eyes while the instructor plays fighter pilot.
 
Good luck with this. Start with short flights, in the morning, cool weather, no wind etc. Then go a little farther, over the house, over the lake, lunch. Only take her on good flights until she is ready for an adventure, like ?we can go visit your family or mine?.

My wife was terrified of flying when I met her. Now she is a trooper. Here is an old video of here flying and having fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FqCss4CJkw
 
Mark, are you single? Your research might lead you to fly with women... and not have them barf. Then, life with an RV is even more fun. It rounds out the experience in a nice way.

If only.

My partner gets terribly airsick. The last flight she took with me was Sydney to Canberra, about an hour; and she got so sick she couldn't stand up when we arrived.

She's tried all kinds of things -- pharmaceuticals, ginger, wristbands, you name it.

For most flights she does very well until about 15 minutes out from our destination. Then she starts getting queezy. In the last few minutes when we're on descent and in the pattern, she has the bag out. And about 10 seconds after our final turn the floodgates open.

I reckon there's a psychological element to it: she spends the flight thinking, "Maybe I won't throw up this time..." then, near the end, it's, "I only need to hold on for a bit longer..." then, "it's coming." So she spends the whole flight thinking about being sick, and, surprise surprise, she gets sick.

It doesn't stop her from trying again, which is inexplicably awesome.

We've had a few longish flights in VERY rough air where she's been perfectly fine. We flew from Melbourne to Adelaide, about 2.75 hours, with some of the worst turbulence I've ever flown through, she she finished the flight with a grin on her face. I think the turbulence distracted her, and she didn't spend the flight thinking about being sick, and... didn't get sick.

So maybe that's the trick: Fly acro :)

- mark
 
Hello ;
My wife and I were just laying in bed and talking about the airplane that we just finished. I have been flying my 40 hours off and want my wife, to be part off all the SMILE but I really do not know what to expect.
I have big plans with trips to the Bahamas, and Mexico.

My question is how do I handle this.?
My best friend has had some bad experiences over Mt Whitney and is cool to the thought off flying long distances.

Know I know that some of my friends had similar issues, how can I help her overcome these obstacles.
Any advice would help.

Thanks
Bob Wieczorek
RV6a slow Built 36 Hrs and counting

My wife and kids enjoy going to places right here in the USA. I can see where she might be a little cool on going to Mexico or Bahamas. Especially in a newly built plane. I put a big US map on the garage wall with route lines/dates to all of the places we have been to. We have barely scratched the surface in 135 hrs. Even though Mexico and Bahamas are the "new in place to travel" and write trip reports about, I bet if you ask her to show you on the map where she would like to go, it would not be those two.
 
Make your wife your first officer, On my wife's first trip it was her job to help me... I told her I could do it my self but since she was sitting in the co pilot seat she need to become my first officer.
I had her time the fuel tank switching, watching the oil temp during the climb. Keep up with our track on the IPAD and even let he give me heading corrections.

We mad 3 stops to Oshkosh... and about 30 to 40 minutes on the ground so she would not feel rushed.

Made her sleep under the wing of a friends Tripacer and she loved it.

Now she looks forward to flying... just saying where we going this weekend?

Smilin' Jack
PS... she loves the rolls and loops also.... not crazy about the Cuban 8's
 
Wife

I don't know how I ended up so fortunate to find a wife who not only will fly with me but was willing to let me gut our life savings to pay for a plane, even an experimental one. She is not one to just go out to the airport and buzz around, but put food, or a night out, or a visit to relatives at the end and she's all over it. In short, she wants purpose or utility out of it.

She doesn't seem to want to learn to fly but she listens attentively to radio calls and has kept me squared away with frequency changes, routing, assignments etc so I find things to make her engaged to the point that she wants to be.
 
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