|
-
POSTING RULES

-
Donate yearly (please).
-
Advertise in here!
-
Today's Posts
|
Insert Pics
|

10-13-2012, 05:41 PM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lantz,Nova Scotia ,Canada
Posts: 556
|
|
At least I have something else in common with you guys beside building an RV.
The thing I learned through it all, was no matter how deep the quagmire may seem at the time, keep on truckin'. It's all survivable. Like Paul and CJ, the best thing in life happened to me after I got through that mess.
Good luck!
__________________
Paul Tuttle
RV 8
C-FPVT
Flying.
|

10-14-2012, 04:16 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,685
|
|
No Females have responded
Sometimes we get married for the wrong reasons and after a time the princess world that she hoped for fades away and she feels that life is passing her by. She needs to recapture the dream and divorce is one way to start. For men we often have are ducks in a row and are fine with things staying as they are. When it happens I think it is a pivotal event where you have to stop and recognize the opportunity to redirect your life in ways you could not with the constraints of your current life. View it as an opportunity to begin again and if building an RV-9 is the direction you want to go and you can do it then that is what I would do. If that falls through then you will have another major life shift to go through but in the mean time you will be living with a purpose.
Bob Axsom
|

10-14-2012, 07:41 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bozeman, MT
Posts: 219
|
|
I think many of us know the pain....just went through it 18 months ago....18 yr marriage...2 kids...1 RV.....for the same reason you mentioned. No one can tell you how one can be blindsided but I describe it as being sucker punched in the gut, kneed in the "happy place", and shattering your face on the fall to the floor...drastic I know...but until you feel the pain, it really can't be related to until one feels it him/herself....I wish this on no one. Because of my circumstances (like yours) I had a bit of an upper hand and did it all "online" for $400 (including court costs) in about six months. We just split it 50/50 and have a good agreement with the kids. We have kept a good relationship since, which is great for my boys. She got the house, everything in it, 1/2 my retirement, etc...but I kept my RV and my hangar. My plane was finished so after 4 months of sleeping on an air matress it was nice to have something to look forward to other than another day of pain....
Mediate it out if you can.....I have a friend 15K into a divorce and they haven't even decided temporary custody.......start building....start healing....keep up the relationship with your kids.....there is life beyond this. Its hard to see I know....god how I know....but keep the faith.
Cheers,
Kurt
|

10-15-2012, 02:06 PM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Greeley, Colorado
Posts: 199
|
|
Splitsville
My Lawyer advised..."It's my job to cut the two of you apart but when I'm done cutting, the only one that's going to be bleeding is you."
__________________
John D. Artz, EAA 71811, 100+ Young Eagle flts
Adopted Dave's 6A
MXL Ultralight, only bleeding after 3 landings
Scorpion Two Helicopter, big mistake
PA-28 and 210E Centurion
|

10-15-2012, 03:18 PM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Battleground
Posts: 4,348
|
|
I was mid stream in the build during my divorce. Finishing the airplane was great therapy as others mentioned.
In regard to those that feel it is a good strategy to cheat your once significant other out of thier "fair" share....sorry, I just don't understand that and, (Forest Gump),; "that is all I will say about that."
For those that hate laywers, I had a very good one, divorced in a "no fault" State, and all property was divided equally, including the value of the RV parts and pieces which where easily documented. She, yes my laywer was female, did a great job, let me review all documents, correct them and comment. Saved me thousands.... If you have half of a brain, you can do a lot of the work the laywer charges $350/hr to do and get a lot better understanding of what is going on. Make sure your lawyer understands what you want to do and if they wont let you, find another one. The divorce proceedings, property settlements, and support are pretty much dictated by law by each state. They are not that hard to understand.
Regardless, put the bitterness and pain aside, but not your hobby.
__________________
Smart People do Stupid things all the time. I know, I've seen me do'em.
RV6 - Builder/Flying
Bucker Jungmann
Fiat G.46 -(restoration in progress, if I have enough life left in me)
RV1 - Proud Pilot.
|

10-15-2012, 06:32 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Kalamazoo
Posts: 4
|
|
Well, I'm right there with you.
My own divorce was completed on June 1, 2012, after 18 years of marriage and 3 kids. Thankfully I stumbled upon this forum in late August. After seeing all the Van's stuff coming out of Oshkosh this year, I had to learn more. I had no idea. Now I have read DR's article on how to finance the construction and every single dime is being socked away to build a 7A. (Yet there is something attractive about the 8 too ... time will tell.)
As a lawyer, trust me - to the extent you can trust any lawyer  - "hiding the assets" is the worst decision you can make. Divorce is about splitting everything that you accumulated during the marriage equitably. Without a doubt everyone loses in a divorce, and the lawyer sends the bill. See if you can find that equitable middle - and that does not mean 50/50 - without the lawyers and the courts, because quite frankly, you are going to end up there anyway. You will find that there are opportunities to be bitter and opportunities to be better. I hope you choose the latter.
Take care,
Ron Ryan
Kalamazoo, MI
|

10-15-2012, 08:21 PM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Adelaide South Australia, Australia
Posts: 193
|
|
Perhaps a little joke
Q. Why do scientists prefer to do experiments on Divorce Lawyers?
A. Because you can form an emotional attachment to a white rat.
|

10-16-2012, 01:11 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,256
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by RyanFlyer
As a lawyer, trust me - to the extent you can trust any lawyer  - "hiding the assets" is the worst decision you can make.
|
I can't speak from direct experience, only indirectly (parents divorced) but I can second this statement having seen what happens when you're caught...attempting to hide assets or shift them to other people/relatives resulted in the party doing so to end up losing pretty much everything. I mean *every thing*. House. Business. Cars. Property. Possessions. Money.
Judges don't like being played for fools...
Worked out great for the side that played by the rules, though...
__________________
Steve "Flying Scotsman"
Santa Clarita, CA
PP-ASEL, ASES, Instrument Airplane
RV-7A N660WS flying!
#8,000
|

10-16-2012, 04:53 AM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Louisville, Ga
Posts: 7,840
|
|
Welcome to VAF, Ron Ryan...and thanks for your advice.
Best,
__________________
Pierre Smith
RV-10, 510 TT
RV6A (Sojourner) 180 HP, Catto 3 Bl (502Hrs), gone...and already missed
Air Tractor AT 502B PT 6-15 Sold
Air Tractor 402 PT-6-20 Sold
EAA Flight Advisor/CFI/Tech Counselor
Louisville, Ga
It's never skill or craftsmanship that completes airplanes, it's the will to do so,
Patrick Kenny, EAA 275132
Dues gladly paid!
|

10-16-2012, 09:47 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Mass
Posts: 3
|
|
So Helpful Everyone
Thanks everyone for the great advice, and encouragement.
Right now I am in the thick of things, so am going to slow down and make rational choices here. There are reasons I didn't build in the past having little to do with my current situation so I should also respect those (space to build, confidence that I would stick with it through the whole thing, etc).
Even though this is the RV forum, just hearing from others that have been through this has been very helpful and the advice is great. This is a fantastic forum.
It's ironic, but my number of years matches several others here as well. Married 18 yrs, two kids. This was something that happened to "that other guy". But here I am just about in the same mess.
Keep it coming if others have more advice RV or not but it helped.
|
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
| Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:01 AM.
|