Building During Divorce

[RV6_flyer]

Originally Posted by RV9ForMe

Just signed on and wanted to get an opinion on something perhaps even from others that have gone through something similar.

I have been thinking of building an RV9 for some time now and lurking here. I own an airplane already but would most likely at some logical point of the build have to sell it in order to purchase the more expensive bits (avionics/Engine). I took a builders workshop and liked it but do see the amazing amount of work that will be involved.

My dilemma:

I am most likely going to be going through a divorce in the next year or so.

What I was thinking is that having a project such as this would allow me to focus on something other than problems, even though I do see that some people slow down or stop their projects when going through this.

Have others been through something like this and did they find that the RV project was a welcome distraction?

Logistics of course will be something I have to consider. I will have to buy another house with building space (garage). I was thinking of that anyways as I do have kids.

Thanks for your opinions.

Been there, done that.

The only one that makes out in a divorce is the attorneys.

I started building my RV-6 during my first divorce and finished after my second.

The airplane is named "My Sanity" because instead of chasing wild women and drinking, I put my energy into building the airplane.

As you suggest, do not waddle in self-pity, concentrate on the airplane.

Just my two cents.

[daviid]

not to be a debbie downer but.

if you think you are getting a divorce within the next year, then don't even bother starting. obviously your relationship is at the point of no recovery if you accepted this. you have much bigger issues at hand that need to be resolved to beginning something as large as this. resolve or dissolve your issues and make sure you are on good ground.

[rv9av8tr]

Ahh... got it....
Then sell your spam can NOW and convert it into a QB "pile" of RV parts sooner than later. QB will give you more building time than you can imagine and get you back into the air at least a year faster.

And yes, building, like flying, is a great distraction from life's problems and the BEST therapy I've ever had!

[Veetail88]

Went through pretty much the same thing, but for me, once wife 1.0 moved out, neither of us pushed to get the divorce done right away. I was comfortable in the house and wasn't in a hurry to move out and she was happy having health insurance.

So it took a few years. My kids had grown and moved out, so it was me, the cat and not much else to take up my eveings.

I needed a distraction. I was making good money (before this current mess of an economy) and all my time and money was used the way I wanted to use it for the first time in 24 years.

The first distraction was the Harley I'd really wanted all along. Bought a 10 yar old Ultra Classic. This is an instant gratification thing and I put 15,000 miles on that thing the first year. (course that led to a new one as I guess I'll be riding until I cant!)

Then it was the RV I'd wanted to build since 1994.

As I had a LOT of trouble sleeping from the stress, I used Van's sales DVD as a sleep aid along with over the counter sleep meds (and occaisionally a bit of Balvinie Double Wood Scotch!). Man, that DVD really worked well after about the 30th or 40th viewing! I could recite a lot of it if I had to! Kind of sick really! But it was great motivation. It got to where I didn't make it much past the introduction of the models, and then ZZZzzzzzzzz.

Bought the tail kit, which I went through pretty fast, then I just ordered the rest all at one time. Built a lot in my garage and that really worked well to keep me busy in the evenings. Curbed the Scotch usage as well, which was good. I feared going down that slippery slope.

So for the above reasons, I think building during this time is a good idea, course you also have minor children to keep you busy, so that will help.

When we finally got around to getting the divorce done, I'd spent a lot of money I'd earned after 1.0 moved out, but as we were still legally married it was technically half hers, which worried me a LOT!

I think as was said earlier, that assigning a value to the project was difficult, so between that and possibly because 1.0 didin't want to see the dream destroyed, I was able to get the whole thing taken off the table before the big ax came down on the remaining assets.

Don't get me wrong though, I still totally got the shaft and will be paying the rest of my life for a divorce I didn't want.

So I still have the project. Hopefully it will fly next summer. 2.0 is a definite upgrade and life is back on track.

So hang in there buddy! You can only control the way you react to the situation and that's all. Jump in and start work on your dream! It's a great distraction!

[David Paule]

If you really want a distraction, start an RV-3. With nothing pre-punched there's a lot more work and a lot more to think about. You'll have too much on your mind to fret.

Plus it's a single-seater. It's all you need. And having only that one seat will inevitably lead to finding a new relationship. That part is a given - it's Murphy's contribution to the project.

Dave
Just tryin' to help....

[sbarger24]

I went through a short marriage and divorce. I found my airplane project to be very good therapy, and am glad I had it, that and some really good friends that were building and flying RV's at the time.

[Captain_John]

All good advice here!

Shoot me a PM and we can meet someplace and i will tell you about my divorce experience over a beer!

Good luck buddy!

CJ

[johnny stick]

I would say it depends on your divorce and significant other. If she is one who will get made and trash the plane, then I would hold off putting any time into something she might destroy. My second advice is to not hide anything. If everything is disclosed up front, the legal problems may be much easier. However, I like the idea of holding off on an airworthiness until after it is all settled. Trying to hide assets is one thing (bad), but being smart about not gaining too much value in an asset until after the divorce is another and depends on her lawyer and how pissed she is at you.JMHO

[SHIPCHIEF]

I didn't build during the divorce, in fact, I stored the parts at a friends hangar.
I spent my off work time being a dad, which was the right thing for me.
After I was again ready to build, I switched from a RV-4 to an RV-8, and sold the RV-4 bits.

[Jimboscr]

If both of you can work out a split and agree on terms outside of a court room and with as little Lawyer time as possible it will be a win win situation for both of you.

When I went through my divorce we were able to be civil to each other and agreed on everything (with a little give and take) and it still cost several thousand in lawyer bills etc. I would hate to think what it would have cost if we went down the court room option.

If you can get your project then I personally would do it, because the dark thoughts and regrets can be pretty bad at times. Having something to fill evenings and weekends is a real plus. However before you buy make sure you check with a professional about the ramifications on any settlement. That is one legal phone call you will have to make.

By looking at this thread there are a lot of other people who have "been there, done that" so in that sense you are not alone, there are a lot of guys who know exactly how you feel. The aviation community is great to belong to and real bond exists between yourself and other pilots (even better in the RV community)

Good luck with everything


Jim