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  #1  
Old 03-05-2012, 12:53 PM
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bret bret is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Gardnerville Nv.
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Default Is your wife scared to fly?

My wife is deathly afraid to fly even a commercial jet. To day for my birthday she said she would taxi around with me, I couldn't believe it, we hopped in the Sky hawk (still building the 7) and taxied around Kmev, then she said we can go up if you want, Really? are you sure? so we did one lap around the pattern and landed, a little crying and other noises but she did it, she said she wanted to do this for me on my B Day! I never thought she would ever do this. I love my wife!
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2012, 01:03 PM
TRT TRT is offline
 
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Location: Georgetown, TX
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Any ideas on how to help your wife? Mine gets the "spins" and illusion of falling whenever we feel any turbulence at all. She won't fly with me again in my -6, but is willing but still very scared to go in the Bonanza.

She's going to try to get a Xanax prescription, but that seems kind of extreme?

I would appreciate anything that's worked for other people.
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  #3  
Old 03-05-2012, 01:07 PM
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L.Adamson L.Adamson is offline
 
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Location: KSLC
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Mine doesn't get scared at all. Not even when I managed the prop strike, with her in it. She only had tears in her eyes...........when I said I was going to cut the wings off with a sawzall, to get it home. I was mad.....but didn't do it..

L.Adamson -- 6A, might be a 6, someday
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  #4  
Old 03-05-2012, 01:39 PM
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Louise Hose Louise Hose is offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dayton, Nevada --- A34
Posts: 1,464
Arrow No, but....

I was very afraid of flying, even commercially, when I took flying lessons. I'm pretty sure there would have been no other way for me to get past the fear. At that time, I had two irrational fears. (Well, both involved things of somewhat elevated risk but my fear far exceeded their risk.) Living in paralyzing fear of flying just wasn't acceptable to me. I had to overcome the fear.

I knew that part of my fear (and the reason I could rationalize the fear) was that I wasn't able to fly and land the plane if something went wrong. I was completely dependent on the pilot. And, no matter how skilled the pilot is, things happen. Bird strikes, heart attacks, etc. I hated it when I was lowered into or hauled out of pit by others or a winch but was perfectly comfortable hanging 500 m above the ground if I was in control of my ascent and descent and had either rigged the rope or ensured it was rigged properly. So, I learned to fly. Several years later, I stumbled into an opportunity to have my other fear treated by a professional. I swear, he cured me of a life-long phobia in less than 15 minute! I then learned that psychologists consider phobias one of the easiest disorders to cure. Knowing what I know now, I would have sought out professional help for my two fears decades earlier. Irrational fear is such a quality-of-life inhibiter and, apparently, overcoming those fears with a little help is remarkably easy.
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RV3B, NX13PL "Tsamsiyu" co-builder, TMXIO-320, test platform Legacy G3X/TruTrak avionics suite
RV-6 ?Mikey? (purchased flying) ? Garmin test platform (G3X Touch, GS28 autopilot servos, GTN650 GPS/Nav/Comm,
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RV8, N188PD "Valkyrie" (by marriage)

Last edited by Louise Hose : 03-05-2012 at 02:33 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-05-2012, 01:43 PM
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Mike S Mike S is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dayton Airpark, NV A34
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See if there is a female CFI in the area, and try to schedule an hour or so with her for your wife.

Explain to the CFI what you are doing, dont force things-----the hour may not even get the engine started, just talking and familiarization stuff will make a huge difference.

And, if she (your wife) does choose to go flying, more to the better.
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Rv-10, N210LM.

Flying as of 12/4/2010

Phase 1 done, 2/4/2011

Sold after 240+ wonderful hours of flight.

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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  #6  
Old 03-05-2012, 01:59 PM
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bret bret is offline
 
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Location: Gardnerville Nv.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Louise Hose View Post
I was very afraid of flying, even commercially, when I took flying lessons. I'm pretty sure there would have been no other way for me to get past the fear. At that time, I had two irrational fears. (Well, both involved things of somewhat elevated risk but my fear far exceeded their risk.) Living in paralyzing fear of flying just wasn't acceptable to me. I had to overcome the fear.

I knew that part of my fear (and the reason I could rationalize the fear) was that I wasn't able to fly and land the plane if something went wrong. I was completely dependent on the pilot. And, no matter how skilled the pilot is, things happen. Bird strikes, heart attacks, etc. I hated it when I was lowered into or hauled out of pit by others or a wench but was perfectly comfortable hanging 500 m above the ground if I was in control of my ascent and descent and had either rigged the rope or ensured it was rigged properly. So, I learned to fly. Several years later, I stumbled into an opportunity to have my other fear treated by a professional. I swear, he cured me of a life-long phobia in less than 15 minute! I then learned that psychologists consider phobias one of the easiest disorders to cure. Knowing what I know now, I would have sought out professional help for my two fears decades earlier. Irrational fear is such a quality-of-life inhibiter and, apparently, overcoming those fears with a little help is remarkably easy.
WOW! afraid to fly and then go and get a PPL. That is amazing! Good for you! I don't know if I could do that.
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  #7  
Old 03-05-2012, 02:10 PM
Bavafa Bavafa is offline
 
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Location: Sacramento, CA
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My wife on the other hand gets a kick out of rolling, steep turns and getting into IMC.

Last time we flew to Monterey when the ceiling was just at minimum, she was so excited while I was trying to keep her looking for the ground.


Happy B-day!
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  #8  
Old 03-05-2012, 02:18 PM
Bob Axsom Bob Axsom is offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,685
Default Just my observation - I don't know anything

The wives that I know that are afraid to fly are afraid of the unknown and someone in their lives often sadly to say it is their husband has reinforced that fear. I was always very honest with my wife and I fully accepteted the responsibility fo completing the flight successfully. I always flew my wife in conjunction with a trip to a destination that would give her some joy or at least satisfaction and I never ever tried to "give her a thrill." The flying was always about the trip not the flying. Later we got into a mode of flight planning where I did the chart work and dictated the information to her and she wrote it down on the flight log form. After we had the basic route plan in she would read back the distances and I would calculate the estimated time enroute which she would enter on the form then she would read the individual times and miles and I would calculate the total time and distance which she again entered at the bottom of the flight plan form. Stil later when we got the Garmin 695 I would go to the charts and determine the Victor airway route and she would enter the turnpoints into the 695 and after completing that we still went through the process to complete the flight planning form for pilotage, dead reckoning and radio navigation. She was very much a part of EVERY trip. She really grew into her teammate role and was darn proud of her part in our trip planning. So was I.

A friend married a girl from San Diego that talked a good "I love to fly" game. She was a beautiful girl and he cared a lot for her. She flew to Oshkosh with him and made other trips. Once they were flying in the vicinity of Long Beach, California and he rolled the airplane and told her it was caused by the winds - give me a break - It scared her to the point that she gave up trying and simply refused to fly anymore in small airplanes. There is an old military saying that means something like "your mess kit is for eating out of, not putting your mess in" that kind of applies.

Bret I think you are doing it right - I'm happy for you.

Bob Axsom

Last edited by Bob Axsom : 03-05-2012 at 02:23 PM.
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  #9  
Old 03-05-2012, 02:46 PM
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jbagley jbagley is offline
 
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Location: Aloha, or
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I've had quite a few nervous passengers and, so far, every one of them wants to fly with me again. I've had passengers that are afraid of flying and/or afraid of heights. I believe these 3 key points are instrumental for a successful flight with a nervous passenger.

1. A desire to overcome their fear.

2. Lots of patience. Explain things. Make sure they are comfortable with what's going on and don't surprise them. Be prepared to cut the flight short. No need to endure a long flight needlessly.

3. Confidence. You must fly confidently and don't fidget or mess with your instruments needlessly. Your passenger has a microscope on your every move and if you keep adjusting your altimeter/radio/EMS they will think it is broken and lose confidence. And no matter what, don't say Oops!

But, that's just my opinion of what's worked for me. I think if your working with someone that has a clinical phobia, ask a professional for help!
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  #10  
Old 03-05-2012, 03:34 PM
E. D. Eliot E. D. Eliot is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: San Pedro
Posts: 1,013
Default Lessons

Married my wife 4 years ago. During the early phases of our relationship, I told her how important flying was to me and she told me that she was afraid of flying. She is Korean/American. I paid for a set of introductory lessons with a Korean speaking CFI. The first 'lesson' was placing her in the left seat of a Cherokee and he explained to her how airplanes fly. It was quite windy and the airplane was 'rocking around' as the wind blew past the wings, etc. He explained that this was 'normal' not only on the ground but in the air as well.

The CFI then asked her if she wanted to 'go and fly' and she said 'yes' somewhat hesitantly. I had briefed her on how to 'steer the airplane on the ground' but it didn't show it much as we 'S' turned a lot as we taxied to the end of the runway!!! Tower said "looks like you have a new one there" to us as we taxied by!!! My 'then girlfriend' has no idea why the CFI and I were laughing.

So, as we gained speed on the first take off run, she was excited but afraid. She screamed a little as the aircraft rotated and then began to laugh with happiness!!! the CFI allowed her to perform the climb out and by the time that we reached the practice area, was enjoying being in an airplane. I am lucky. That flight and others were 'pass or fail' for our future together.

It was a matter of understanding and control with her. As she gained knowledge of how an airplane flies, she was able to relax and enjoy flying. So give you wife a few lessons with an understanding CFI. Make sure that that CFI knows what's at stake for you and be patient.
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