If you can weld, weld one up from thick scrap.

Dave

try and find a post by cytoxin or captain john
 

I did a terrible job on my rv-4 and really searched the old posts and one of these guys had a post with pictures and the bar to use and after following this post the ailerons were easy the post have to be about 8 years old by now. the jest of the post was to build a jig so the aileron was vertical and then be able to put one arm under the aileron with the bar and go through the hole with foam holding the skins apart the bar was a small tungsten bar that fit in the web of the spar but I used one that was longer then the spar web but with an angle that matched the web had a piece of leather under the bar to raise it and not mark the spar

Sorry to hear your frustration.
Another solution that worked for me was to tape a #40 drill bit along the long(fat) edge of the tungsten bucking bar. This brings the long(narrow) face to the same angle as the flange. Then just slide it along the web.
Cheers